Anything Goes
What is the most expensive thing you've ever bought?
I'd have to go with our house. It's more expensive than all the cars and computers I've ever owned combined...times three.
First car you drove?
The first car I ever drove was one of the Brown's ranch trucks. I was 14 and had never driven a car in my life. They put me in the driver's seat, showed me how to get it into gear, and told me to follow the road around the mountain to the corrals. I couldn't have been going more than 25 miles an hour at any given time, but I was excited to be driving.
Is education important?
On a priority list I'd put education right after eating, breathing, and drinking water and long way ahead of things like knowing the names of anyone who is or ever has been on American Idol. Among the many needs of this country, one of the greatest is the need for educated citizens.
Person that means the most to you?
Would you be surprised if I told you it was Megan?
Rather live in the country or in a city?
I've lived both in the country and in the city and there are things to like about both. But now that I'm a married man, I would be content to get a decent house on a decent piece of land somewhere in the small towns of Arizona.
Favorite song you can listen to over and over?
There are too many to choose from, but I will say that I've listened to "Say It Ain't So" by Weezer hundreds of times since it was first released 14 years ago and it's still one of my all-time favorite songs. That's some pretty good staying power.
Favorite movie of all time?
I'm still going to go with Horsefeathers, which is a Marx Brothers movie. There's nothing to dislike about it and I've seen it more times than I dare count. The "I Always Get My Man" song and dance is always hilarious no matter how many times you see it.
Ever seen something online about you that was super bad?
I haven't ever seen anything anybody ever wrote about me that was bad, but that isn't to say people don't write, say, or think bad things about me. I've offended and hurt enough people in my lifetime that I'm sure someone out there has said something about it.
Best concert you've ever been to?
I don't know how to quantify that. I've seen Weezer six times, and every time I see them it's amazing. But I wouldn't think a non-Weezer fan would find it half as awesome as I do. The Black Keys absolutely blew my mind, but they had no stage show whatsoever. Reggie and the Full Effect had one of the best stage shows I've ever seen (with The Aquabats coming in a close second) but I wouldn't say it was the best I'd ever seen. I'll just go with the first time I ever saw Weezer. It was December 20th 1996 in the Electric Ballroom. That was also the firt time I ever saw Ash, and it was the first concert I ever paid to see.
Craziest night?
That would probably be the night Ezra stole a Pickelhaube (spiked German helmet) and we walked down Mill avenue and hung out with hippies, rastafarians, and had all sorts of near-magical experiences. Ezra was a crazy man and nearly any night with him was completely nuts. He had no sense of shame whatsoever and generally had a good time wherever he went.
Been to Disney World yet?
I've never been and I couldn't imagine it would be that much fun. The Disney corporation seems a bit scary to me these days. They seem a lot more soulless than when they started out. Walt Disney had dreams of the happiest place on earth and whatnot and now it's all moneymaking and cold corporate decision making. So if I were to go to Disneyland and see the people who are literally paid to smile (the scholarly term is "emotional labor") I would probably feel more creeped out than I would if I were in a place where everyone hated their job and let it show on their face.
Been grounded a lot when you were a teen?
I wasn't really grounded as a teenager. I was punished in different ways. My parents always said, and I agree with them, that grounding a kid is a punishment to the parents as well because they have to look at their kid moping and sulking about for two solid weeks. Who wants that? It's better to take away privelidges or have them do unpaid chores.
Do you believe punishment really makes a person better?
Punishment in and of itself can't make anybody better. It tends to have the adverse effect. How a person deals with and learns from punishment is what makes all the difference in whether or not punishment is effective.
Should people that hurt animals have the same done to them?
No. Wait, let me check...am I insane? Nope. Not insane. Hurting animals for no reason is a bad thing to do, but animals are not humans. Let me say that again so everybody understands: animals are not humans. That cop whose dog died in the hot car shouldn't spend a single day in jail. Why wreck his life for the life of a dog? There's no sense in it. But consider this: humans are part of the food chain. There are animals who eat us, and there are plenty of animals we can eat. It's part of the system. There are many animals which are absolutely delicious and we shouldn't have a congressional hearing every time someone fries up a bit of a delicious animal. It's nonsensical. There needs to be a moderate voice of reason somewhere between those who think killing animals is worse than killing babies and those who think killing animals should be a daily pastime. So the idea that people who mistreat animals should have the same done to them is insane. What if I felt strongly about the pain plants feel (there are studies that show plants feel some level of pain) when vegetarians eat them. Should I be allowed to stick a fork into every vegetarian who sticks a fork in a salad? The whole idea is moronic.
Best music to listen to?
Power pop. There's no contest. Put on a great power pop band like Jellyfish or The Rubinoos and all your cares melt away. The only way you could help but like it is if you're the sort of person who only likes depressing and/or angry music. Metalheads and goths, I'm looking right at you. Some of your music is good, but lighten up and listen to something else every now and again.
Best halloween costume?
Former Canadian Prime Minister Kim Cambell.
Ever been told a tall tale?
Everything the boss man says is as unbelievable as a tall tale.
Were you spoiled as a child?
Nope. I was the middle child and middle children are never spoiled. We grow up to be normal and well-adapted members of society (comparitively speaking, of course).
Favorite food to eat?
These days I'm a big fan of tacos. But the magic of the quesadilla still calls to me from time to time.
Things you do for fun?
Like walking in the rain and the snow when there's nowhere to go and you're feelin' like a part of you is dying, and you're looking for the answer in her eyes. You think you're gonna break up then she says she wants to make up.
Wait, that's what we do for Love. For fun I play video games, light fires (contained fire pit fires, not arson), listen to music, watch movies, and just generally hang out with the wife. It's a good life.
Ever been to a party that cops busted?
The cops caught us for lighting a big old fire and setting off all sorts of fireworks in the desert. Jacob took the fall on that one, which is to say he got the lecture and we all stood and watched. Nobody got hauled in or anything.
Do you do drugs?
Nope. I don't even like to take ibuprofin for a headache. I'll take something if I'm really sick, but I don't like to.
Best cellphone provider?
None. Cell phone quality is way worse than landline quality. They all stink equally.
Ever dye your hair a odd color?
I dyed it green once and purple once. Those were both temporary dyes. I've never gone with an odd color for more than a couple days.
Who's your idol?
I have a few. Of course I always look up to my parents, but you'd expect that. I also think Rivers Cuomo, Mats Sundin, and David P. Chandler are pretty remarkable people.
Who's better guys as friends or girls?
This is a middle school question, so my only response can be: boys go to mars to get more candy bars. Girls go to jupiter to get more stupider.
Who really does the most cheating guys or girls?
I don't know. I'm a one woman man and I can't imagine being otherwise. I intend to never cheat and I'm sure Megan is the same. I can't speak for anyone else.
How many states have you lived in?
I've only lived in Arizona. Luckily, Arizona is the greatest state in the Union.
Do you think you're friendly?
Not really. I can be pretty awkward in social situations and sometimes I don't come off well at all. Also, I have a hard time pretending to be civil when I'm just not feeling it. If I'm angry, it usually shows, so that makes it a little hard to say I'm friendly. But I try to be friendly...at times.
How much does it cost for you to fill up your gas tank?
About $34 these days.
Ever ran over an animal?
Yeah. Apparantly the deal is off between me and birds. I've been killing them left and right, though I don't intend to.
Rode on a horse?
I've been in the saddle for days at a time. I've been on cattle drives and overnight horseback trips and whatnot. So yeah, I can ride.
Rode on a motorcycle?
I learned to ride a little on a friend's motorcycle. I wouldn't trust myself on the open road, though.
Whats the longest you have been stuck in a car?
Probably those family trips up to Utah in the old station wagon. Christine and I had to sit in the backwards seat, isolated from everyone else. She was so car sick she'd usually be throwing up into her puke bucket (an empty plastic margarine tub) before we even got out of the driveway. Those trips were always exciting at first, and agonizing for the bulk of time. I don't see how the padres did it. Those trips seemed like they lasted a million years.
How do you feel about politics?
I feel good. Bush is going to be gone soon(without even ushering in the apocalypse. So it wasn't a complete failure) and we actually have some good candidates this time 'round. I'll be happily casting my ballot for someone and not against their opponent. So that's nice.
On a sunny day, your most likely doing what?
I'm most likely to be found giving lectures on the difference between "your" and "you're." It boggles my mind that people have gotten past 5th grade without knowing which to use in any given situation.
Are you comfortable with yourself?
Sure. I know me pretty well by now, so I can hang out with me without it being weird or awkward.
Anything that has ever scared the life out of you?
Yeah, when nearly half of the democrats thought that Hillary "Lies Her Pants Off" Rodham Clinton would make a good presidential candidate.
Like going to clubs?
Nope. They don't usually play the sort of music I like to hear and I'm too old for any sort of dancing that requires gyrating without looking like a complete idiot.
Favorite type of movie to watch?
I like comedies. Call me crazy, but I like to laugh and enjoy myself.
Sport you like to play?
Hackey sack, racquetball, or roller hockey. Though I haven't done any of those in a while.
Had your heart broken?
I had my heart broken a few times over the years, but luckily it wasn't permanent. As The Mooney Suzuki says, "The broken heart can be made whole." And so it has.
Ever seen a weird bug and you didn't know what it was?
Yeah. They have some odd ones in Cambodia. I just tried to keep my distance.
Best shampoo out there?
Alberto VO5. It's a buck a bottle.
Want to go to the moon?
If someone else pays for it, sure.
What do you order at McDonald's?
A hot fudge sundae. Megan and I only go for the ice cream.