The Inaugural Friday Meme

For those of you just joining us, I used to do a meme every Friday on my old blog. It was pretty much the only feature you could count on after I got too lazy to do the Weekend Update every Monday. Many of you may be wondering what a meme is. Let me clarify this. If you look up the word, "meme" you'll no doubt come across the fact that Richard Dawkins, noted scientist and hater of all things religious, coined the term to explain how cultural phenomena spread through society in a Darwinian sort of way. So what does that have to do with the fact that when I "do a meme" it's really a silly questionnaire? Probably nothing. A friend of mine who introduced me to the world of blogging called them memes, so I do as well. I suppose calling an online questionnaire a meme is a meme in the Dawkins sense. Weird, eh? So let's quit with the semantics and head right into the questions.

Couldn't Be More Random

How old are your siblings? Robert is 34, Jennifer is 32, Christine is 29, Kimberly is 26, Lynnette is 24, Paul is 22, Kelly is 18. All those ages are approximations. I have a hard time remembering how old I am, let alone the ages of my 7 siblings.

What kind of jelly do you like? When making a peanut butter sandwich I prefer honey to any of the available jams, jellies, or preserves. I do love a good apricot jam, or strawberry. I'll eat grape, but it's probably my least favorite gelatinous fruit spread.

Who is the last person you seen dance? Who is the last person I've seen dance? That would have to be Megan. I haven't been out dancing in a billion years or so, so the only dancing I see is what Megan does if I put on danceable music.

Is zebra print cool? Always. There has never been a matter of clothing or interior design that could not have easily been solved by going with zebra print. It matches everything, it never goes out of style, and it says to all who look upon it, "I am a person with real class."

Last time you fell down? I dunno. As an adult, I try not to fall down very often. When I do, I have to do my best to pretend it didn't happen. So I have no idea.

Do you play with your gummi bears? I eat the heads first. I like to pretend I'm Kroker or some other giant who can devour bear heads like candy.

How many tv's are in your house? There are two. We have the main TV in the entertainment room and we have the jailbird set up in the bedroom. The jailbird is a TV I picked up at DI that was donated to them from either a prison or a former prisoner. So that TV has done time in the clink, the joint, the big house, the slammer, the pen, the can, the coop, the hoosegow, etc. But I think the jailbird has changed its ways and may now be completely rehabilitated.

When did you last clip your toenails? This morning. They were getting out of hand. Megan was a severe risk for footsie related injuries.

Do you think all babies look the same? Nope. I say that because I've seen black babies, Asian babies, Hispanic babies, white babies, albino babies, Pacific islander babies, Native American babies, and they don't look the same. Seriously, when I was a baby there was no way you would think I was black, Asian, Hispanic, or basically anything other than white.

Also, male babies and female babies don't look the same, at least not when they're naked. And don't get me started on people who have ugly babies. It happens. So this assertion that all babies look the same is ungrounded and utterly false.

What size shoe do you wear? I wear a size 12, which means that the available shoes in my size are: basketball sneakers, loafers, and deck shoes. So I'm not a basketball player, old or gay so it's hard to find shoes that fit me that I actually like.

Do you lick your lollipops or suck them? I suck them and then I bite them. I don't have the patience it takes to suck my way to the center of a tootsie roll pop. I'll be biting that thing in under a minute every time.

How many cousins do you have? More than I can count. My Mom has 11 siblings which means I have 60-something cousins on the Peterson side. The Badger side isn't as big, but all told I have a whole buncha cousins. The good thing is that I know most of them.

What cell phone company do you use? The funny thing about this question is that I used to go off on rants about how people shouldn't just assume that every man, woman, and child on the planet has a cell phone. But now I have a phone of my own. I use Verizon, which works ok I guess.

Do you have any fish? I don't know if I've ever had any fish as pets. I've been out fishing and I caught fish that I would later eat, but I don't currently have any fish that I personally reeled in. I think we have some fish fillets or something in our freezer, but I believe I have strayed far away from the original intent of the question so I'll stop right here.

Did your mom ever put soap in your mouth? Not that I know of. I think I got warned that I would get my mouth washed out with soap, but I don't think it ever happened.

Is your belly button an innie or outtie? I have an innnie. I got it for my birthday one year.

What do you think about cars? I like cars. My car gets me to and from work without wasting too much gas, so that makes me happy. I can do most small repairs and maintenance on my car, so that's good. I also love muscle cars of the 60's and 70's.

How old is your dad? I don't actually know. I don't go out of my way to ask my parents how old they are because they're somewhere in the no-man's-land between pretending it's their 29th birthday every year and being proud they actually staved off the icy hand of death for another year. For the record, I think they're closer to the former than the latter. They're somewhere in their 50's.

Do you take baths or showers? I usually shower for time reasons, but I usually don't pass on an opportunity to take a nice soothing bath.

Whats the month your birthday is in? July.

Do you like chinese food? I like actual Chinese food, but I have a hard time choking down Americanized mass-produced buffet-style Chinese food.

Do you have any cats? I never have and if I play my cards right I never will.

Do you pay any bills? I pay nothing but bills.

Have you ever played an instrument? I used to play the viola in middle school and high school, and I play the bass guitar but I'm admittedly out of practice a bit.

Has anyone said you were accident prone? Yes. Every pedestrian I have ever hit somehow gets this idea that I'm accident prone. But seriously, I think I was told that when I was a clumsy 7th or 8th grader and before I developed in the almost freakishly coordinated and athletic person you know and love today.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? It depends on who I'm talking to. I'll tell Megan just about everything, but I don't often bear my soul to complete strangers. I'd say I'm more open than closed in general, but there are certain people I don't want to know anything about my person life. Like my boss, for example.

Have you ever ran with scissors? I was on the state champion 4 x 800 scissor relay team in high school. But seriously, I'm pretty sure I ran with scissors as a kid at least once. Mainly because it was verboten. Kids love things that are verboten.

What do you think about grocery shopping? I'm all for it. I'm not the sort of dreadlocked home grown organic bean curd eating person that I am sometimes mistaken for. I don't live in a commune where we grow all our own food. I have been known to go to my local grocer and exchange legal tender for foodstuffs. As a matter of fact, I get 97.5% of my food that way.

Are you allergic to anything? I'm allergic to penicillin. So for all of you who like to make cookies and other desserts laced with penicillin, don't feel bad when I politely decline to eat them. It's not you. It's me.

How did u get one of your scars? The biggest scar on my body was caused by one of my most manly mishaps: I tripped and fell while descending the steps on the school bus when I was in kindergarten. I was staring too intently at my Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox and the first step, as they say, was a doozie.

Can you use chop sticks? Not only can I use chopsticks, I can use them like a champion. I can pick up slippery candies like skittles and M&M's with chopsticks. In an unrelated note: chopsticks is one of maybe two songs I can play on the piano.

Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? I think we all know the answer to this one: I wouldn't mind being tied to Megan. I spent all but 4 hours of our first week of marriage with her and nobody else. I think I could handle being tied to her.

Do you like to color inside the lines? I don't like to color because after all these years, I'm still not that good at it. I'm all over the lines, I don't fill things evenly, I pick the wrong colors. I just try to stay away from coloring books.

Do you know how to whistle? It took me 26 years, but I finally learned how to whistle. The secret? I have no idea. I don't know what I was doing wrong before. All I know is that one day I tried and I could do it.

What is the longest you can wait patiently? For what? I can wait all day for tickets to a really good concert. I'll camp out if I have to. If I'm waiting to get into the bathroom I might get very impatient. Of course it depends on how bad I have to go.

Do you want to be bilingual? I don't have to want it because I am it. Well, of course it depends on what you mean by bilingual. I can converse freely and easily in Khmer, and I read at a fairly high level. I have sloppy handwriting in Khmer, just like I do in English so I'd call myself bilingual. I just wasn't raised speaking two languages. I'd like to be multi-lingual someday. I'd like to learn Pali or Sanskrit and also another Southeast Asian language like Burmese or Laotian.

Your motivation for tomorrow? Tomorrow I'm going to be singing in a barbershop quartet for our ward 4th of July breakfast. Hopefully we'll hit all our key changes and not sound too bad. I'll be motivated to not embarrass myself in front of the meanest sheriff in the country. After that we'll be having a 4th of July barbecue with the Hansen clan. Pulled pork sammiches are all the motivation I need.

Who can make you laugh no matter what? So far the movie, "Evil Alien Conquerors" has never failed to make me laugh. Also, watching Turbo attempt to gracefully get down from the top of his house is worth a chuckle every time. That little guy has the heart of a champion.

Do you still watch cartoons? I still watch the same cartoons I grew up watching. I have things like GI Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, and Voltron on DVD. Good cartoons never get old.

Do you usually write in print or in cursive? I can't write in cursive anymore. It has been nearly completely wiped from my memory. When you sign your marriage licence, they make you sign your full name, legibly, in cursive. I can't even remember how to form all the letters in my middle and last name. My signature is more of a scribble than anything. When I was a kid I consistently got C's in cursive. I think the only reason I got C's was because the teacher didn't really give out F's and I was really trying. I have bad handwriting. I think we've covered this.

Is it true that you can be anything you want to be? It is not true. There are limitations on dreams. For example: The Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to be President of this country, but that will never be. He is a foreigner and is therefore not eligible. He can dream all he wants, but it will never come to be. Also, if I wanted to change into a purple unicorn, I will still never be a purple unicorn no matter how hard I try.

Although it is good to tell people to shoot for the stars and to never give up on their dreams, there are practical limits to what every person can do. When I was a kid I wanted to play for the Toronto Maple Leafs someday. Now that I'm in my late 20's and married, I have begun to think that the Maple Leafs might not ever draft me. It's not to say that I was wrong for dreaming the dream as a kid, but sometimes your dreams are a little too far-fetched to become reality.

I would never tell any of my kids to not dream the big dreams, but as you get older you begin to see that some things are beyond your reach. It's not a good thing, but it's also not a bad thing. It's just life.

What's one of your favorite possessions? I'm really loving my Atari 800XL these days. It's a fun machine.

Do you get enough sleep? I'm starting to get enough sleep. When I first started sharing a bed with Megan, it was the hardest adjustment I had to make in married life so far (yes, in the entire long month we've been married). But now that I've gotten used to having a girl in my bed and have gotten into a good sleep routine, I get a lot more restful sleep.

Which is better: flowers or chocolates? Chocolates. I'm a guy so flowers won't get you very far with me.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? I want to go back to Cambodia sometime and take Megan with me. Plane tickets are only $1,000 or so if you go in the off season, so maybe we'll make it back eventually.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it? No. In every case, some action is required on your part. All this stuff derived from such sham-driven self-help books like "The Key" where you can get whatever you want out of life by just sitting on your duff and wanting it badly enough is pure baloney. It's the old D & C 9:7 where the Lord doesn't plop things into the lap of those who, "[take] no thought save it were to ask me."

Do you take walks often? I walk about half a mile from my car to work every morning and another half mile back to my car at the end of the day.

Is good grammar attractive? I like a girl who has a firm grasp of the English language. Of course I can't say I'm a perfect practitioner of English grammar. I like to break the rules sometimes, but I'm usually attracted to intelligent people, and intelligent people usually, but not always, know how to use good grammar.

When did you pray last? Ere I left my room this morning I totally forgot to pray. Megan and I prayed last night, and I blessed my breakfast this morning before I ate it. So I pray often. I pray at least once a day if not more.


Ok people. That's how the Friday meme goes. Just remember: if you've enjoyed reading this meme half as much as I've enjoyed writing it, I've enjoyed it twice as much as you.

-James