Mele Kalikimaka Is Merry Christmas is Hawaii Talka

Hey everybody. I'm feeling pretty darn festive this week because I just started sorting through the songs for this year's Christmas CD's. Now you may be thinking, "Isn't it a bit early to start listening to Christmas music?" The answer is yes. It is a bit early. But here's the thing: the best time to look for Christmas music is right at or shortly after Christmas. It's too short a time for me to get a decent Christmas mix together and in all y'alls hands in time to enjoy it. So what do I do? I get all the songs I can during and after Christmas and then I use them for the next year's mix. So the songs you'll be hearing are all songs I actually found last year.

I throw everything that doesn't stink up the joint at first listen (the standards for what sounds good are pretty low when I'm at the stage in the process) into a playlist and let it sit for a year. Then I go through all that music and decide what's worthy and what ain't. Some songs get shuffled back in for next year when there are too many good songs to use in a single year. This year there are 271 songs in the running and only about 50 of them will get to be on the mix. So I decided to start my sorting now so I can have CD's to hand out to everybody at Thanksgiving. Unfortunately for me, the sorting is going faster than usual and I'm feeling myself slip into the Christmas spirit before we've even had Halloween. That just doesn't seem right.

The point of me explaining my holiday CD making process is to make you less likely to scratch your head at the title of today's entry. It comes from a Beach Boys song called "Mele Kalikimaka" and it's a fantastic/hilarious song. It actually didn't make the cut this year, so that ought to tell you how good the mix is going to be. You'll thank me later.

Oh, I should mention this: in one of the many podcasts I listen to (they keep me from getting bored at work...sort of)they were talking about the "Christmas Creep." It refers to the fact that stores are putting Christmas stuff out earlier and earlier every year. The term was actually coined in the 80s, but I just heard it a few weeks ago. Basically, retailers are trying to make as much money as possible from Christmas. I can't stand the commercialization of Christmas. Every year the people on the idiot box tell me I need to be spending more and more money on Christmas. They tell me I need to be buying new cars with big bows on them. They tell me I need to be buying diamonds. They try to sell me a grade A load of bull honky every single year and I get tired of it. But you know what I never get tired of? I never get tired of Christmas music (especially Christmas hymns), Christmas movies, giving and receiving goodie plates, caroling, spending quality time with the family, Christmas messages at church, reading the Christmas story, taking part in family traditions, peanut brittle...oh how I love the peanut brittle. I could go on and on about the things I love about Christmas (most of which don't cost a whole lot to enjoy), but I won't. The point is: I love Christmas. I can't wait for Christmas to roll around this year. The reason I can't wait isn't because I'm going to go crazy into debt so I can buy some love from friends and family by giving them extravagant presents. I'm looking forward to Christmas because I find that the older I get, the more the little things mean to me. So darn the Christmas creep and hooray for sorting through Christmas music in mid-October.

So I made a conscious effort to not write any entries this week. As you know, my lovely wife had several interviews this week, one that resulted in hilarious circumstances (I'll let her tell that story. It's a good'n). The interviews went well and she has a second interview lined up with one of the companies, so our faith and hopes are flying high as ever right now.

I've had a bit of a ridiculous week. Certain persons that I work for have really stepped up their efforts in trying to make me feel unwelcome in the liberry. I had no buffer yesterday and things got way out of hand. It is more clear now than it has ever been that I need to leave this place behind me. The only thing is: this is the only job Megan and I have between us. But rest assured: as soon as she's gainfully employed and we're back on our feet and rolling I'll be hitting the pavement looking high and low for any job that meets these two criteria: 1) They pay me better than this job, and 2) They aren't complete jerks. I don't imagine it would be too hard to find a job that meets those requirements even when factoring in the bad economy. But yeah, I think the point I was originally trying to make was this: there is a certain person who goes to great lengths to prove that there are no lengths to which they will not go to mess with me. Yeah, the boss man is a stinker.

One last thing I have to mention before I close this thing up: last week I missed the first Weezer concert of my life. I have seen them every single time they have been in Arizona from 1996 (the year I became old enough to go to concerts) onward. I have seen Weezer plenty of times, but I don't feel like I'm done seeing them. They are and will remain my favorite band of all time. Few bands have meant as much to me over the years (Jellyfish and The Band got me through some hard times, but I can't say that they have had as lasting an effect as Weezer). In many ways I wish I could have gone, but I'm okay that I didn't get to go. Megan and I are going through some of those hard times that define what a marriage is made of, and from what I can tell we're made of some reasonably strong stuff. I don't know if we've seen the worst of it yet or if there's more that will be required of us in the trials we're currently experiencing. But I can say that I'm proud of the choices I've made in the past year or two. I've had more joy and seen more improvement in my life than I've seen in a long time. So if I don't get to go to a Weezer concert because the wife and I are in the furnace of trial and affliction, that's okay. There are more important things in life, and I've already seen Weezer six times. This is not to say that I won't shoot for seven should the opportunity arise, but I'm acknowledging the fact that I'm a little more grown up than I used to be and that's not necessarily a bad thing.\

Okay, so I guess I've given you a hodgepodge of an entry today. Hopefully all y'all can figure out what I'm trying to say here. As always, thanks for your love and support. Megan and I appreciate it.

New Hope

Hey Everybody,
I thought I would just drop a little line to let you know that I was able to schedule four interviews over the next two days. I have three interviews tomorrow and one interview on Thursday.

Wed 8:00am
I'm a little hesitant about this interview because it is for a multilevel marketing company. It's just a graphic design position, so I wouldn't be directly involved in the sales of the product, but I just don't know how I would feel about supporting a cause like that. But, what do I know? Maybe the Himalayan jungle juice they're selling is really changing lives and making a difference in the world. Who am I do judge.

Wed 11:00
This interview is for creating websites and other promotional resources for local musicians for what I can tell. It sounds like a really interesting job, but I'm not sure if I'm that qualified since I haven't had a whole lot of web design experience. I honestly don't remember applying for the job because I didn't think I applied for any jobs that list web design as one of the main aspects of the job. It would be great if I got the job because it would give me experience in designing websites which is something that I've really been wanting to do. This job would be nice because it is located in East Mesa, so I would be driving against traffic everyday.

Wed 2:00pm
This job seems like it would be the best career choice because it is for a larger advertising firm in downtown Phoenix. The major drawback is that the job is located right down town. This means that the traffic getting to work would be terrible. I feel a little bad though because the position is to replace a graphic designer that is already working there. The poor guy doesn't even know he's loosing his job. This job does seem promising since they have already seen several example of my work and like what they see.

Thurs 2:00pm
This is a position that both James and I feel pretty good about. I have all the basic requirements for the job, plus some qualities that they listed as a major plus that other designers might not have. They are looking for someone who has product photography experience(which I do)and someone who is customer service oriented (which I am).

I'm really happy to have gotten all the calls for interviews today after not getting anything the previous week. Hopefully I will be happily situated in a new job by the end of October.

I'll let you all know how the interviews went when they're done. Thank you all for your support and prayers. Wish me luck!

Megan

An Hour From the Weekend

Hey everybody. I'm sitting here at work with a little less than an hour left between me and the weekend. I must say I really need this one. Every now and again the downpresser man decides he's not annoying me enough and decides to really heap it on thick. Today was just such a day. He usually picks Fridays because at the end of the week he suddenly realizes that he only has a few more hours to pester and annoy me before I go home to my loving wife and enjoy yet another fantastic weekend. Everything I've learned over the past little while indicates to me the fact that the boss man wishes he had friends, so when he sees the other workers and I chatting and generally enjoying the camaraderie of the moment, he gets jealous because he doesn't have that. He also doesn't have a lovely wife to go home to. If I had to guess, I'd guess that his home life is far from satisfying.

Over the last little while I've been trying to humanize the boss man in hopes that when I leave this place in my rear view mirror, I'll be able to forgive him for every mean, nasty, or evil thing he's ever done to me. I don't want to haul that baggage around forever, and I would toss it right now if only he wasn't adding to the size and weight of the aforementioned baggage on a daily basis.

So how's that, eh? I start out the post with total vagueness. Anyway, I would have started this post a lot earlier in the day had I not come across a fantastic photo blog. I was searching through the uniwatch blog (where they fanatic about every last detail of sports uniforms) and they had a link to another blog which has high resolution scans made from old timey photo negatives. Some of them are really impressive. Take a look over at http://www.shorpy.com/ if you want to see the sorts of pictures I was looking at for two solid hours. If you click on the "view full size" links for the photos, you can see them in all their high-definition glory. They have all sorts of stuff there. They have pictures of spectators on a hillside for one of the early civil war battles, they have pictures of Japanese Americans being transported to the relocation camps in the 1940s, and lots and lots of other interesting pictures. I feel like these pictures give a pretty good view of what the world was like 80 or more years ago. It's definitely worth a look-see.

So Megan still hasn't heard back from that job she interviewed with over a week ago, so we're assuming that call won't come. She's been really good at keeping busy and taking on freelance work and finding ways to bring in a little extra cash so we can keep our heads above water. We're still hoping and praying that she'll be able to get a new job soon.

As for me, I can't say that I've been looking too hard for a new job. I feel more strongly than ever the need to leave this place and go work somewhere normal where you aren't punished for having ambition or doing the right thing (I can tell you stories about both being punished for having ambition and being punished for doing the right thing. Actually, scratch that. I can think of several stories in support of both statements). I desperately want to work in a better place, but it's hard to start looking when this job is what pays the bills these days. But don't think for a moment that I won't hit the job market like a tonne of feathers when Megan is working again and we've built up our savings a little.

These days we seem to do a lot of hoping, wishing, and praying (as well as an awful lot of window shopping). The bad economy seems to be affecting a lot of people these days, and Megan and I are a far sight better than a lot of people out there. So I guess we can't wallow in despair too much. We've got to move upward and onward.

Anyway, it's now Monday. I thought I actually finished this thing and got it up before the weekend, but I guess not. I don't think I was quite done saying what I was going to say, but I'd wager I lost my train of thought over the weekend, so I'll just post this thing as-is. Enjoy.

He Jist Broke a Motor, Sump'n Jist Happened

So I've been wanting to make a change to this blog for a while. As you may or may not have noticed, I've been half-heartedly throwing up Friday memes for a while now. They aren't funny or interesting anymore. It feels like I've been answering the same questions over and over again and it seems pointless now. So no more.

I think the initial intent of the Friday meme was to tell you things about me that you wouldn't have thought to ask, as well as provide me an outlet to poke fun at the spelling and grammar of whoever takes the time to write those questionnaires. In recent days I haven't been accomplishing either of those goals so it seems the best course is to make a clean cut and be done with it.

So I'll just try to write more often and I'll make every effort to make it interesting. That being said, please remember that my life isn't always interesting and there are always plenty of things I would love to write about the dysfunction that surrounds me (at work, not at home) but big brother is always watching so I can't. But I'll try to keep giving you a reason to come back and read up on what we do and how we're doing.

As we've gotten this blog rolling, you've probably noticed the difference between the times when I write and the times when Megan writes. I try to write at least twice a week, and I take up an extraordinary amount of space to say very little. Megan writes about once a month and takes very little space to tell you everything you wanted to know about our lives. This is probably a trend you can expect to continue as this blog lumbers into the future.

I just got off the phone with Megan, and things aren't looking too promising for the other job she interviewed with. They told her to contact them if she didn't hear from them by early this week. It's Wednesday and she called them a few times and left a message and nobody has called her back. So that doesn't look too promising. As of right now there aren't a whole lot of graphic design jobs out there. With the economy as bad as it is (I've mentioned this before and I'll say it again: we're a Hawley-Smoot Tariff away from a second great depression) marketing departments tend to be the first to go when companies cut cost and dump personnel. So, as always, your faith and prayers on our behalf are needed and appreciated.

I'd have to say that as tests of faith go, we're past the part where we recognize our circumstances as a test of faith and right smack dab in the middle of the part where we honestly thought the test would be over by now seeing as how we figured out it was a test. But as you all know, tests like these don't end at your convenience, they end when you learn what you were supposed to learn. So here's to hoping that we'll figure it out...and soon.

I don't know if any of the previous paragraph makes sense to you, but it made sense to me as I was writing it. With that said, I think I'll close this thing on up.

A Young Quarterback Waits for the Snap

Well, today something I had been fearing came true: I found out that I didn't get the job I interviewed for. When I came back from lunch today, I found two computer-generated emails waiting for me. They both said the same thing: we decided to hire someone else for that job you applied for.

Needless to say, my first instincts were to be crushed, depressed, and even a little angry. I immediately second-guessed everything I had said in the interview, especially the part where I told them they could contact my current supervisor. I imagined the sorts of things he would have told them to destroy my chances of getting the job. Remember: he did tell me once that he relishes the opportunity to give bad references to people he dislikes and there are few people he dislikes as much as me. My head was spinning as I tried to find a reason why anyone wouldn't want to give me a job. I emailed my inside contact (I've decided to keep the whole anonymity thing going here, though you probably know who I'm talking about) and asked them what they could tell me about why I didn't get the job. Did I not give a good interview? Should I have declined to let them speak to my supervisor? Was I completely unqualified?

Immediately after running every conceivable bad scenario in my head, I called Megan to break the news to her. She listened to me whine and moan, and then reassured me and promised we'd have tacos tonight (do I have a great wife or what? Seriously).

It didn't take long for my inside contact to get back to me. They told me that I interviewed well and that everyone was impressed with the diplomatic answers I gave when I could have easily trashed this job and the people I work for. The only thing that sunk me is that a couple people who have map experience interviewed after me, so I legitimately lost to people who are more qualified, which still stinks but not as much.

So my plan was to get really down and depressed today and just soak in all the badness. Maybe I would mingle some of my disdain for the boss man with my depression over not getting the job and create some sort of angry/depressed gravy that I could just drizzle over the whole day. But it didn't happen that way.

I've been listening to conference on my ipod before and after my institute classes. Today I listened to Elder Uchtdorf's talk entitled, "The Infinite Power of Hope" before class and Elder Wirthlin's talk entitled, "Come What May And Love It" after class. So I basically got a double dose of apostolic counsel on how to deal with adversity. So I figured that with those talks fresh on my mind, I couldn't choose despair over hope. Not only that, but I've chosen despair a number of times in my life because it's easy, it actually feels good at first, and it seems like a natural reaction. But choosing despair has never gotten me anything other than a super awesome picture of me with super long hair and a beard. What the hey, let's post that picture. You know you love it.


So the point is: I'm not growing a beard and long hair this time. I'm moving upward and onward right away. In a lot of ways I felt like that job I applied for was my last chance to keep working in this library system. So not getting the job may actually turn out to be a not-so-gentle prompting that this library system is not where I'm supposed to be. I can deal with that. I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do, but I'm obviously not meant to grow old and rot away in this place. So my quest will be to find what it is I'm supposed to be doing and go right on and do it.

Granted, I might not get the chance to pull myself away immediately. If I was a younger unmarried man with any amount of savings I would quit this job tomorrow (I picture some scenario involving me holding a boombox over my head blaring David Allen Coe's immortal "Take This Job and Shove It") and get started right away. But as things stand right now, Megan and I need whatever income I can get from this place. So I might be here for now, and it might take me a while to get where I'm going, but I am willing to accept the fact that I will not be a librarian for the rest of my life, and I suppose I should thank the heavens for it. So I take this from the whole rigmarole: there is something better out there for me.

Now let's take things in a slightly different direction that will bring us right back to the point I've already driven into the ground. Yesterday I got a letter from the HR department stating that they'll be taking a big ol' chunk of money out of one of my paychecks this month to pay for the Arizona taxes I forgot to pay. How did I forget to pay my Arizona taxes you ask? Well, I filed my taxes early knowing that I could use my refund to buy Megan a ring. If I paid Arizona the money they wanted from me, I wouldn't have enough to get her a ring. So I decided to pay the state of Arizona when I got the chance, and I never remembered to do it. So I get a letter telling me that they're taking their dang money and there's nothing I can do about it.

Megan and I are in hard times. We know we'll have enough to pay our mortgage and bills this month, but we have no idea how we'll pay for it next month. Not only do we not have the money for next month, I won't even be getting paid as much because of the whole "levying my wages" thing. So to say that we're flying by the seat of our pants here is a massive understatement.

Now being faced with such a situation can get a variety of responses from a married couple, but Megan and I have already decided what we're going to do: we're going to pray, we're going to fast, and we're going to pay every red cent of tithing we owe. Then we're going to pray some more.

This is obviously one of those situations where the Lord doesn't want us to be able to say, "Thanks, but I solved it on my own." I've had a few of those in my life, so I know how to recognize them when they come. Megan and I are having our faith tested, and we are dead set on passing the test. It feels a little like a commercial break for "The Dukes of Hazzard" where them Duke boys have gotten into some sticky situation and right before the break Waylon Jennings tells us, "Them Duke boys sure are in a pickle. How are they gonna get out of this one?" But we know we'll be ok. We know deliverance will come and when it does we promise not to think that we delivered ourselves.

As always, your faith and prayers on our behalf are much appreciated. Every night Megan and I thank the heavens for our family and the love and support you all give to us. So keep that up.

On an unrelated note: do any of you ever listen to the little mp3 players I put up at the top of the page? I don't want to make them autostart because sometimes it's annoying to get music when all you want is words, but I have no indication that anyone ever listens to them. So get back to me on that. You know...if you feel like it.

There Hides the Cowboy

Normally I'm not the sort of guy who posts music videos (or videos in general for that matter) in hopes of turning people onto fantastic music they may not have found otherwise. I'll talk music with you all day if you want to, but I try not to force it on people. But today I threw a video up for two reasons 1) It's the song I've had stuck in my head all day and it seems super relevant right now and 2) It's just a video of the band playing. There's no trick cinematography or anything, it's just the band playing the song. So give it a listen if you want to. It's a good song.

But yeah, the reason I've had that song stuck in my head is because Megan and I really need to hold on to our hope and our faith right now. It is becoming increasingly more important for us to get the jobs we've interviewed for, but the process might take longer than we anticipated. They haven't called my references yet, which starts me thinking, "Well, maybe they won't call them because they've already decided to hire someone else." or "They won't call them because they want to hire me based on my own representation of my skills and abilities." or "They are way behind in the process and it'll take forever to find out." All these lines of thought can have dangerous consequences. I need to keep my thoughts realistic now more than ever and hold on to the hope and the faith that things will work out fine for Megan and I. We're honestly doing everything we know how to do to get these jobs. It's just so easy to get discouraged when things don't come in the time frame you want them to come in.

Megan has been especially frustrated because she wants to be out working and contributing to our family finances, but she doesn't have a ton of control over whether or not these people hire her or not. So it's easy to think that just because they aren't calling her right at the beginning of this week that they might not call at all. But once again, we know that there is a process that things have to go through. If they make the recommendation that I get my job, I know it has to clear the hiring committee, library administration, and human resources before they even give me a call. But I really want them to call me right now and tell me I got it. Megan and I are a little impatient, which I think is understandable.

But the important thing is that in this time of trial the most important thing for us to do will be to put our trust in the one sure place we can put it. We both have faith that if we live up to the things that have been asked of us, we will be blessed both temporally and spiritually. We have faith and we have hope, but we can't help but falter a little as Peter did when he saw the billowing surge beneath his feet. So having, "Hold on Hope" by Guided By Voices stuck in my head all day isn't a bad thing. It's not a hymn, but it's a good song and it reminds me that the trials we're going through are as much a test of faith as they are of anything else.

Also, Megan and I have noticed that the hope that we've had the past couple weeks has made everything just a little better and a little brighter at home. I love her a little more this week than I did last week, and I think she feels the same (not that we didn't love each other last week, but we love each other more). There have been a lot of positive effects that have already come from this trial, and I expect that those we have seen thus far will not be the last. The only thing is that it's so easy as a human being to want everything right now rather than waiting to see how it all turns out in time. I have no doubt that everything will be fine and we'll pass this trial with flying colors but, as Tom Petty once said, "The waiting is the hardest part."