Tuesday, October 21, 2008

New Hope

Hey Everybody,
I thought I would just drop a little line to let you know that I was able to schedule four interviews over the next two days. I have three interviews tomorrow and one interview on Thursday.

Wed 8:00am
I'm a little hesitant about this interview because it is for a multilevel marketing company. It's just a graphic design position, so I wouldn't be directly involved in the sales of the product, but I just don't know how I would feel about supporting a cause like that. But, what do I know? Maybe the Himalayan jungle juice they're selling is really changing lives and making a difference in the world. Who am I do judge.

Wed 11:00
This interview is for creating websites and other promotional resources for local musicians for what I can tell. It sounds like a really interesting job, but I'm not sure if I'm that qualified since I haven't had a whole lot of web design experience. I honestly don't remember applying for the job because I didn't think I applied for any jobs that list web design as one of the main aspects of the job. It would be great if I got the job because it would give me experience in designing websites which is something that I've really been wanting to do. This job would be nice because it is located in East Mesa, so I would be driving against traffic everyday.

Wed 2:00pm
This job seems like it would be the best career choice because it is for a larger advertising firm in downtown Phoenix. The major drawback is that the job is located right down town. This means that the traffic getting to work would be terrible. I feel a little bad though because the position is to replace a graphic designer that is already working there. The poor guy doesn't even know he's loosing his job. This job does seem promising since they have already seen several example of my work and like what they see.

Thurs 2:00pm
This is a position that both James and I feel pretty good about. I have all the basic requirements for the job, plus some qualities that they listed as a major plus that other designers might not have. They are looking for someone who has product photography experience(which I do)and someone who is customer service oriented (which I am).

I'm really happy to have gotten all the calls for interviews today after not getting anything the previous week. Hopefully I will be happily situated in a new job by the end of October.

I'll let you all know how the interviews went when they're done. Thank you all for your support and prayers. Wish me luck!

Megan

Friday, October 17, 2008

An Hour From the Weekend

Hey everybody. I'm sitting here at work with a little less than an hour left between me and the weekend. I must say I really need this one. Every now and again the downpresser man decides he's not annoying me enough and decides to really heap it on thick. Today was just such a day. He usually picks Fridays because at the end of the week he suddenly realizes that he only has a few more hours to pester and annoy me before I go home to my loving wife and enjoy yet another fantastic weekend. Everything I've learned over the past little while indicates to me the fact that the boss man wishes he had friends, so when he sees the other workers and I chatting and generally enjoying the camaraderie of the moment, he gets jealous because he doesn't have that. He also doesn't have a lovely wife to go home to. If I had to guess, I'd guess that his home life is far from satisfying.

Over the last little while I've been trying to humanize the boss man in hopes that when I leave this place in my rear view mirror, I'll be able to forgive him for every mean, nasty, or evil thing he's ever done to me. I don't want to haul that baggage around forever, and I would toss it right now if only he wasn't adding to the size and weight of the aforementioned baggage on a daily basis.

So how's that, eh? I start out the post with total vagueness. Anyway, I would have started this post a lot earlier in the day had I not come across a fantastic photo blog. I was searching through the uniwatch blog (where they fanatic about every last detail of sports uniforms) and they had a link to another blog which has high resolution scans made from old timey photo negatives. Some of them are really impressive. Take a look over at http://www.shorpy.com/ if you want to see the sorts of pictures I was looking at for two solid hours. If you click on the "view full size" links for the photos, you can see them in all their high-definition glory. They have all sorts of stuff there. They have pictures of spectators on a hillside for one of the early civil war battles, they have pictures of Japanese Americans being transported to the relocation camps in the 1940s, and lots and lots of other interesting pictures. I feel like these pictures give a pretty good view of what the world was like 80 or more years ago. It's definitely worth a look-see.

So Megan still hasn't heard back from that job she interviewed with over a week ago, so we're assuming that call won't come. She's been really good at keeping busy and taking on freelance work and finding ways to bring in a little extra cash so we can keep our heads above water. We're still hoping and praying that she'll be able to get a new job soon.

As for me, I can't say that I've been looking too hard for a new job. I feel more strongly than ever the need to leave this place and go work somewhere normal where you aren't punished for having ambition or doing the right thing (I can tell you stories about both being punished for having ambition and being punished for doing the right thing. Actually, scratch that. I can think of several stories in support of both statements). I desperately want to work in a better place, but it's hard to start looking when this job is what pays the bills these days. But don't think for a moment that I won't hit the job market like a tonne of feathers when Megan is working again and we've built up our savings a little.

These days we seem to do a lot of hoping, wishing, and praying (as well as an awful lot of window shopping). The bad economy seems to be affecting a lot of people these days, and Megan and I are a far sight better than a lot of people out there. So I guess we can't wallow in despair too much. We've got to move upward and onward.

Anyway, it's now Monday. I thought I actually finished this thing and got it up before the weekend, but I guess not. I don't think I was quite done saying what I was going to say, but I'd wager I lost my train of thought over the weekend, so I'll just post this thing as-is. Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

He Jist Broke a Motor, Sump'n Jist Happened

So I've been wanting to make a change to this blog for a while. As you may or may not have noticed, I've been half-heartedly throwing up Friday memes for a while now. They aren't funny or interesting anymore. It feels like I've been answering the same questions over and over again and it seems pointless now. So no more.

I think the initial intent of the Friday meme was to tell you things about me that you wouldn't have thought to ask, as well as provide me an outlet to poke fun at the spelling and grammar of whoever takes the time to write those questionnaires. In recent days I haven't been accomplishing either of those goals so it seems the best course is to make a clean cut and be done with it.

So I'll just try to write more often and I'll make every effort to make it interesting. That being said, please remember that my life isn't always interesting and there are always plenty of things I would love to write about the dysfunction that surrounds me (at work, not at home) but big brother is always watching so I can't. But I'll try to keep giving you a reason to come back and read up on what we do and how we're doing.

As we've gotten this blog rolling, you've probably noticed the difference between the times when I write and the times when Megan writes. I try to write at least twice a week, and I take up an extraordinary amount of space to say very little. Megan writes about once a month and takes very little space to tell you everything you wanted to know about our lives. This is probably a trend you can expect to continue as this blog lumbers into the future.

I just got off the phone with Megan, and things aren't looking too promising for the other job she interviewed with. They told her to contact them if she didn't hear from them by early this week. It's Wednesday and she called them a few times and left a message and nobody has called her back. So that doesn't look too promising. As of right now there aren't a whole lot of graphic design jobs out there. With the economy as bad as it is (I've mentioned this before and I'll say it again: we're a Hawley-Smoot Tariff away from a second great depression) marketing departments tend to be the first to go when companies cut cost and dump personnel. So, as always, your faith and prayers on our behalf are needed and appreciated.

I'd have to say that as tests of faith go, we're past the part where we recognize our circumstances as a test of faith and right smack dab in the middle of the part where we honestly thought the test would be over by now seeing as how we figured out it was a test. But as you all know, tests like these don't end at your convenience, they end when you learn what you were supposed to learn. So here's to hoping that we'll figure it out...and soon.

I don't know if any of the previous paragraph makes sense to you, but it made sense to me as I was writing it. With that said, I think I'll close this thing on up.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

A Young Quarterback Waits for the Snap

Well, today something I had been fearing came true: I found out that I didn't get the job I interviewed for. When I came back from lunch today, I found two computer-generated emails waiting for me. They both said the same thing: we decided to hire someone else for that job you applied for.

Needless to say, my first instincts were to be crushed, depressed, and even a little angry. I immediately second-guessed everything I had said in the interview, especially the part where I told them they could contact my current supervisor. I imagined the sorts of things he would have told them to destroy my chances of getting the job. Remember: he did tell me once that he relishes the opportunity to give bad references to people he dislikes and there are few people he dislikes as much as me. My head was spinning as I tried to find a reason why anyone wouldn't want to give me a job. I emailed my inside contact (I've decided to keep the whole anonymity thing going here, though you probably know who I'm talking about) and asked them what they could tell me about why I didn't get the job. Did I not give a good interview? Should I have declined to let them speak to my supervisor? Was I completely unqualified?

Immediately after running every conceivable bad scenario in my head, I called Megan to break the news to her. She listened to me whine and moan, and then reassured me and promised we'd have tacos tonight (do I have a great wife or what? Seriously).

It didn't take long for my inside contact to get back to me. They told me that I interviewed well and that everyone was impressed with the diplomatic answers I gave when I could have easily trashed this job and the people I work for. The only thing that sunk me is that a couple people who have map experience interviewed after me, so I legitimately lost to people who are more qualified, which still stinks but not as much.

So my plan was to get really down and depressed today and just soak in all the badness. Maybe I would mingle some of my disdain for the boss man with my depression over not getting the job and create some sort of angry/depressed gravy that I could just drizzle over the whole day. But it didn't happen that way.

I've been listening to conference on my ipod before and after my institute classes. Today I listened to Elder Uchtdorf's talk entitled, "The Infinite Power of Hope" before class and Elder Wirthlin's talk entitled, "Come What May And Love It" after class. So I basically got a double dose of apostolic counsel on how to deal with adversity. So I figured that with those talks fresh on my mind, I couldn't choose despair over hope. Not only that, but I've chosen despair a number of times in my life because it's easy, it actually feels good at first, and it seems like a natural reaction. But choosing despair has never gotten me anything other than a super awesome picture of me with super long hair and a beard. What the hey, let's post that picture. You know you love it.


So the point is: I'm not growing a beard and long hair this time. I'm moving upward and onward right away. In a lot of ways I felt like that job I applied for was my last chance to keep working in this library system. So not getting the job may actually turn out to be a not-so-gentle prompting that this library system is not where I'm supposed to be. I can deal with that. I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do, but I'm obviously not meant to grow old and rot away in this place. So my quest will be to find what it is I'm supposed to be doing and go right on and do it.

Granted, I might not get the chance to pull myself away immediately. If I was a younger unmarried man with any amount of savings I would quit this job tomorrow (I picture some scenario involving me holding a boombox over my head blaring David Allen Coe's immortal "Take This Job and Shove It") and get started right away. But as things stand right now, Megan and I need whatever income I can get from this place. So I might be here for now, and it might take me a while to get where I'm going, but I am willing to accept the fact that I will not be a librarian for the rest of my life, and I suppose I should thank the heavens for it. So I take this from the whole rigmarole: there is something better out there for me.

Now let's take things in a slightly different direction that will bring us right back to the point I've already driven into the ground. Yesterday I got a letter from the HR department stating that they'll be taking a big ol' chunk of money out of one of my paychecks this month to pay for the Arizona taxes I forgot to pay. How did I forget to pay my Arizona taxes you ask? Well, I filed my taxes early knowing that I could use my refund to buy Megan a ring. If I paid Arizona the money they wanted from me, I wouldn't have enough to get her a ring. So I decided to pay the state of Arizona when I got the chance, and I never remembered to do it. So I get a letter telling me that they're taking their dang money and there's nothing I can do about it.

Megan and I are in hard times. We know we'll have enough to pay our mortgage and bills this month, but we have no idea how we'll pay for it next month. Not only do we not have the money for next month, I won't even be getting paid as much because of the whole "levying my wages" thing. So to say that we're flying by the seat of our pants here is a massive understatement.

Now being faced with such a situation can get a variety of responses from a married couple, but Megan and I have already decided what we're going to do: we're going to pray, we're going to fast, and we're going to pay every red cent of tithing we owe. Then we're going to pray some more.

This is obviously one of those situations where the Lord doesn't want us to be able to say, "Thanks, but I solved it on my own." I've had a few of those in my life, so I know how to recognize them when they come. Megan and I are having our faith tested, and we are dead set on passing the test. It feels a little like a commercial break for "The Dukes of Hazzard" where them Duke boys have gotten into some sticky situation and right before the break Waylon Jennings tells us, "Them Duke boys sure are in a pickle. How are they gonna get out of this one?" But we know we'll be ok. We know deliverance will come and when it does we promise not to think that we delivered ourselves.

As always, your faith and prayers on our behalf are much appreciated. Every night Megan and I thank the heavens for our family and the love and support you all give to us. So keep that up.

On an unrelated note: do any of you ever listen to the little mp3 players I put up at the top of the page? I don't want to make them autostart because sometimes it's annoying to get music when all you want is words, but I have no indication that anyone ever listens to them. So get back to me on that. You know...if you feel like it.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

There Hides the Cowboy



Normally I'm not the sort of guy who posts music videos (or videos in general for that matter) in hopes of turning people onto fantastic music they may not have found otherwise. I'll talk music with you all day if you want to, but I try not to force it on people. But today I threw a video up for two reasons 1) It's the song I've had stuck in my head all day and it seems super relevant right now and 2) It's just a video of the band playing. There's no trick cinematography or anything, it's just the band playing the song. So give it a listen if you want to. It's a good song.

But yeah, the reason I've had that song stuck in my head is because Megan and I really need to hold on to our hope and our faith right now. It is becoming increasingly more important for us to get the jobs we've interviewed for, but the process might take longer than we anticipated. They haven't called my references yet, which starts me thinking, "Well, maybe they won't call them because they've already decided to hire someone else." or "They won't call them because they want to hire me based on my own representation of my skills and abilities." or "They are way behind in the process and it'll take forever to find out." All these lines of thought can have dangerous consequences. I need to keep my thoughts realistic now more than ever and hold on to the hope and the faith that things will work out fine for Megan and I. We're honestly doing everything we know how to do to get these jobs. It's just so easy to get discouraged when things don't come in the time frame you want them to come in.

Megan has been especially frustrated because she wants to be out working and contributing to our family finances, but she doesn't have a ton of control over whether or not these people hire her or not. So it's easy to think that just because they aren't calling her right at the beginning of this week that they might not call at all. But once again, we know that there is a process that things have to go through. If they make the recommendation that I get my job, I know it has to clear the hiring committee, library administration, and human resources before they even give me a call. But I really want them to call me right now and tell me I got it. Megan and I are a little impatient, which I think is understandable.

But the important thing is that in this time of trial the most important thing for us to do will be to put our trust in the one sure place we can put it. We both have faith that if we live up to the things that have been asked of us, we will be blessed both temporally and spiritually. We have faith and we have hope, but we can't help but falter a little as Peter did when he saw the billowing surge beneath his feet. So having, "Hold on Hope" by Guided By Voices stuck in my head all day isn't a bad thing. It's not a hymn, but it's a good song and it reminds me that the trials we're going through are as much a test of faith as they are of anything else.

Also, Megan and I have noticed that the hope that we've had the past couple weeks has made everything just a little better and a little brighter at home. I love her a little more this week than I did last week, and I think she feels the same (not that we didn't love each other last week, but we love each other more). There have been a lot of positive effects that have already come from this trial, and I expect that those we have seen thus far will not be the last. The only thing is that it's so easy as a human being to want everything right now rather than waiting to see how it all turns out in time. I have no doubt that everything will be fine and we'll pass this trial with flying colors but, as Tom Petty once said, "The waiting is the hardest part."

Monday, October 06, 2008

A Week of Weekends

So I can't say with any amount of certainty which things happened when this weekend. I ended up taking a couple sick days (yes, I was actually sick for a bit) and the weekend seemed both really long and really short. The main thing is that I had a lot of fun and Megan and I feel closer than ever, so all in all it was a winner of a weekend. Anyway, keep in mind as I write this that I may not be remembering things in their correct chronological order.

On Thursday, as many of you already know, I had an interview for another library job. If nothing else comes of it (though I sincerely hope that is not the case) it gave me hope that I might not be stuck here for the rest of eternity. The interview went well for all I can tell, but I'll definitely be dissecting every question and answer for the next week or so, because it'll take them at least until Friday to let us know who gets the job. I can expect a call from them either way, which is a nice thing to know. Megan is still waiting on the two jobs she interviewed for, and we don't know when, how, or if they'll inform her of the outcome. So at least I know that I'll know. That's comforting.

I know there were a few questions I could've answered better, and there were a few times when I absolutely knew I was appealing to the inner librarian of the interviewers. I have a fighting chance of getting this job, and I could ask no more and no less. The past couple weeks have been filled with hope as Megan and I both had interviews, and the next week or so will be filled with anticipation as we anxiously wait for what we hope will be multiple job offers. This is something that we've been working and praying for in earnestness, so I really hope things work out in our favor. The people in the other library seem really nice. I already know a couple of them, and those I didn't know before the interview seem like nice folks as well. I think you may remember me saying that I'd exchange my current job status for one where my immediate supervisor was cold, impersonal, and businesslike. That would be a major upgrade. But to work with people who are actually nice? It seems too much to ask. I honestly don't know what I'd do. Probably cry a lot, I'd wager.

So yeah, I can't and don't want to give a lot of specifics for my interview, but I have a lot going for me. I don't think I have hindered my chances in any way, so the only thing to worry about is a potential dark horse candidate who is legitimately more qualified than I am. But I know I have a few people pulling for me, so I feel good about it. If who you know is really more important than what you know, I stand a really good chance at getting this job. Let's all keep our fingers crossed.

Megan's prospects sound good, too. Everyone is always impressed with her portfolio, and the two companies she's interviewed with both seem like good, steady work. One of them is a motorcycle company, so maybe there'd be some perks for Dad in there. Who knows? But both jobs are less than 5 miles from our house, and Megan could get there on a bike with no problem (that's something she'd be really excited to do). So we're really hoping that she gets a call from either of those jobs. They didn't give her a time line or anything, so we don't know how many other people are interviewing, or when they'll make an offer or if they'll call her if she doesn't get the job. So we're really on pins and needles there. Any and all prayers on her behalf would be much appreciated.

After my interview, Megan and I took a trip over to the temple. We decided that we wanted to do sealings, and as we walked through the door, one of the sisters immediately asked us if we wanted to do sealings. We told her that that was exactly why we were there, and we were whisked off to the sealing office. One of the other couples doing sealings with us was a mutual friend of ours. He was one of the old 5th ward gang that used to hang out in the old institute. We recognized him immediately, but it took him a minute to remember us, which I guess is fair because we couldn't (and still can't) remember his first name. But it was nice running into them.

On Thursday night/Friday morning I kept waking up every couple hours. I had a bad headache going, and was running a bit of a fever. I felt like I was burning up, but Megan said my forehead was cool. After soaking the sheets in sweat, I went into the spare oom and caught a couple hours of sleep, but not much. It was a fairly restless night for me. So I ended up calling in sick for the second day in a row. Megan let me sleep in the spare oom for a few hours after she woke up, and by the time I actually got out of bed, I didn't feel as bad as I did during the several times when I woke up during the night.

On Friday we had a friend over that I hadn't seen in years: Jeff Moulton. Jeff, Jenna, and all the kids paid us a visit on Friday. They were in town for Jenna's little brother's wedding, but they dropped by and paid us a little visit. They wanted to eat on the cheap, as did Megan and I, so we ended up lighting a fire in our fire pit and having an olde fashioned weenie roast. It was fun to reminisce with Jeff a bit, and in meeting Jeff Megan has become more acquainted with the sorts of people I hung out with in high school.

On Saturday and Sunday we watched conference, as you would expect. I always seem to have a hard time staying awake toward the end of the afternoon sessions, which is a shame because that's when a lot of good talks happen. I clean missed Elder Bednar's talk, so I'll have to catch up on that when I put all the sessions on my ipod later. But conference was really good. Megan and I are both really impressed with President Uchtdorf. He has been through a lot in his life and he's really an amazing man. I won't say too much about conference because...well...most of you heard it, and a lot of you were probably awake more than I was during the afternoon sessions, so I don't need to tell you about conference.

At one point during the weekend Megan and I made our usual trip to the reptile store. We really need to get new tortoises soon. The house does seem a little more empty without turbo in it, and they have some really great African Spurred tortoises at the reptile store. I know which one I would've picked up if we had the money to take them that day.

Well, I'm sure I'm missing some major details of the weekend. I hope Megan writes an entry of her own and fills in any of the gaps I may have left. It was a good weekend, filled with hope. Now we're in the week of anticipation and I honestly don't know how I'll wait this out patiently. But let me say now as I said before, we appreciate the prayers being said on our behalf. It feels good to know that so many people are pulling for us. We sure need it.

Anyway, look forward to the entries this week because they may or may not have good news in them. Either way, they'll be interesting.