Friday, August 08, 2008

These Are Words

Hey everybody. I was going to give you an update of some sort, but I don't have time. I actually have a little work to get done around here.

Totally Radical Survey




Your name:
James H. Badger

You have been making the world more amazing since:
That time I did the robot to "Rockit" by Herbie Hancock. I believe that was yesterday.

Oldest/youngest/or middle sibling:
I am the middle kid, which should explain why I'm so weird. Or something. It should tell you something, but it's entirely up to you what it actually tells you.

Your dad's name:
Robert. Do you now have enough of my personal info to sign me up for a credit card in Nigeria and run up a mad bill in my name.

What kind of phone do you have?
I believe it's red. I could probably pick it out of a police lineup if I had to. It would be the one that wasn't an inmate.

Who is your favorite celebrity ever?
Mats Sundin. It's killing me that he might not be with the Leafs next season. I hop ehe chooses to retire if the Leafs don't take him back.br>
Favorite type of music:
I really like power pop. Go check out Teenage Fanclub, Big Star, Jellyfish, and The Rubinoos if you don't know what it is. There are several other bands I can recommend if you're interested.

How many pillows do you sleep with?
I sleep with one. All I need is one cool pillow with a decent amount of fluff and I can sleep for a month.

Ever prank called the pizza place and ordered a pizza for somebody totally random?
No, but you're giving me ideas. If you get a pizza you didn't order sometime soon, it might've been me.

What do you find most of in your room?
There are lots of clothes in our bedroom. Crazy, I know.

How many piercings do you have?
None. I fear having things poked into my flesh.

How about tattoos?
I don't have tattoos either. I fear needles.

Describe your house:
It's awesome. We have a room in the house dedicated entirely to awesome things (video games, records, guitars, movies, and other assorted awesomeness). We have the most awesome pet in the universe. We have a gigantic cactus in the front yard. I could go on and on. We have a great little house.br>
Who is your neighbor across the street?
Our neighbors are nice folks. They're in our ward. I won't release their names for a couple reasons 1) I don't want Nigerian credit cards in their names, and 2) I don't really remember their names, and it's too late to ask now.

Your favorite facial feature:
On myself? On others? I dunno. It's a weird question and I really don't know what to do with it. It's under the legal limit and I'm throwing it back.

Name the band you are listening to now:
I've been listening to the Jellyfish box set. It's amazing.

Who do you know that throws the best parties?
I used to throw some pretty good parties back in the day, as did Megan. These days we don't even get invited to parties most of the time. I guess we're not as fun as we used to be.

Name an item you've kept with yourself since you were young:
I still have the quilt that was made in commemoration of my birth. I think I've had that longer than just about anything in my life.

Possible children's names?
Jimmy jr. But that's not a possible name. Chalk it up as something that will definitely happen. But seriously, I don't think I'd call him Jimmy because he'd probably eventually resent it. But I would like my name to carry on.

What is your favorite method of exercise?
I like to do an hour of this every morning.

What do you do to get money?
I'm the head crap-taker at the crap-taking factory. I take way more crap than anyone else in the factory. Apparantly I'm really good at it.

Do you dye your hair?
The last time I dyed my hair I was going to crazy raves in run-down warehouses in the middle of nowhere. It was long ago and far away, but I have dyed my hair several times in my life.

Own a pair of skinny jeans?
No. They look super uncomfortable. I remember pegging my pants in the late 80s and early 90s and it was super uncomfortable. Those crazy tight jeans the kids are wearing these days look super uncomfy.

What is the longest you have been in the car for a roadtrip?
I dunno. We had some pretty long Utah road trips. Of course the fact that Denver is the farthest East I've been might tell you that I'm not taking any super long road trips. I hope to take a cross-country trip someday.

Been to Six Flags?
I was at Six Flags last week in Denver. But you knew that, right?

What about Disneyland?
Todd, Ryan, Nathan, and I were on a road trip and our car died in front of the gates of Dinsyeland at 3:00 in the morning. I've never actually been inside Disneyland and I'm reasonably sure that I don't want to.

Name the bands you have band tees for:
I have t-shirts for Weezer (I own at least 6 Weezer shirts), Ash, The Black Keys, Iron Maiden, Dio, Metallica, Jimi Hendrix, Bouncing Souls, Rancid, and possibly others.

Favorite local band?
That would have to be Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. Roger Clyne is basically Arizona set to music. Seriously, it's awesome.

How many cell phones have you owned?
I am on my second. I got my first phone, which was prepaid, and they gave me a second phone for free when Megan and I got a fmily plan.

Your nails are painted:
Don't tell me my nails are painted. I'm looking at them right now and they're not.

How many pairs of sweatpants do you own?
None. If I wore sweats, I'd look more like a guy who has nothing to live for than a guy that can pull off that whole "I'm cool because I don't care how I look" look. Seriously, sweats make me look like a guy who lives in a van down by the river.

When was the last time you shaved your legs?
I have never shaved my legs in my entire life. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a guy. I'm not a professional cyclist or swimmer, and I don't ever get my ankles taped, so there's no reason for me to ever let a razor touch my legs

What were you doing this morning at 8am?
I was drogging my sorry carcass into this library for another workday.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Answering some rediculous question or another.

What are you wearing?
I decided to not look down while I'm answering this. These are the things I know for sure: I'm wearing a shirt of some sort and jeans. So I'm reasonably certain that I'm not naked. I'm also wearing my wedding ring and a watch. That's the truth, I can't tell you what I'm wearing on any given day unless I look down and get a peek of it myself.

Are you mad at anyone right now?
Not really. It's Friday, so all my madness melts away. Especially as the clock gets closer to 5:00.

Last person to say they loved you?
Megan. But you knew that, right?

Last person to send you a text?
Nobody. I don't send text messages and I don't really want to receive them. I'll take actual phone calls, though.

What is your middle name?
Hyrum. Now you can definitely run some Nigerian scam on me.

Do you have a crush on anyone?
Yeah. I've totally been crushing on that Megan girl. It's a good thing I married her.

Have you been naked today?
Yeah. I took a shower, and I'm usually nude in the shower. I find it's easier to get a good shower when I'm nude.

How many different drinks have you had today?
I've only had water today.

What have you eaten today?
I had some granola bars and some cheetos. They were delicious.

Are you good at math?
I honeslty have no idea. I was good at math at one point in my life, but it's been years since I've taken any math classes. So I have no idea if any of my math skills are still around. I don't think it's like riding a bike. I'm pretty sure I can't just pick it up again.

Do you have plans on Saturday night?
Maybe. I dunno. Megan will tell me if I do.

Do you draw your name in the sand while your at the beach?
My at the beach? Do I now own at the beach? When someone else is at the beach do I get royalties? Seriously, the "your" and "you're" mix-up drives me crazy.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes. I hope I never have to do that again. I'm too old. I need my sleep now.

Do you like the ocean?
I enjoy the ocean, but there's not a whole lot I can do with it. My ears can't stand more than 6 feet of water, so that severely limits what I can do in the ocean. Of course it make me less likely to be eaten by a shark, so at least I've got that going for me.

Would you stay friends with your ex's?
I've lost contact with both of them, but we generally parted ways on good terms.

What are you excited about?
I'm excited that it'll be the weekend and I'll actually be home to enjoy it. Of course I'll probably be doing things around the house and whatnot, but at least I'll be home.

What did you do yesterday?
I went to work. It was a fairly boring day.

Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Not only are all my great grandparents no longer with us, my grandparents have all passed on as well.

Where do you keep your change?
I keep it in a record bowl that Amber made me from a copy of David Bowie's "Hunky Dory".

Who is the best person in your life?
Megan.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
I'm getting used to sharing a bed with Megan. Sometimes she'll get up before I do, and when I wake up in the bed all alone it feels a little weird. I think I'm getting used to being married.

What was the weather like on your birthday?
I dunno, but it was an awesome birthday regardless of the weather.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Called to Repentance

Well, after asking James if we could start a new blog geared toward the both of us, I guess I better add to the blog as well. I've been accused a couple of times this week of never writing in the blog, and I'm kinda sad to say that it's true. The blog has been a little weighted on the James side, but I'll try to be more faithful in writing.

We're both updating the blog at the same time this week, so there will probably be a little overlap. So, if you want the less exciting but shortish summary of the weekend, you can read my version, and if you want the more hilarious and and in depth version of the weekend, James is your man.

Notes on James B-day:

So the B-day was pretty fun. I got James a Gamecube for his B-day which turned out to be a little more difficult than I had expected. Bookmans has had about five gamecubes on hand for the past four months or so at any given time. Well, we had finally racked up enough bookmans trade credits to get the system, some games, and maybe even an extra controller. When I went to pick up a system on the Saturday before his B-day they were completely out. I was bummed that we wouldn't be about to use our store credits, but I wasn't too scared because I knew I could find a gamecube on trusted ol' Creg's List. I found one for an even better deal that the one at Bookmans with two wireless controllers and about six games for about the same price as just the system at Bookmans. I was going to pick the system up after work on Tuesday, but when I contacted the seller for final directions, they informed me that they had decited to keep the system.
So, there it was the day before James's Birthday and I was gamecube less. By a miracle I found another system I could buy at about 7:30 and I snuck out of the house before James got home so I could buy it. I then got up at about 3:00 so I could wrap the presents and go back to bed.

It was pretty fun being in charge of a birthday. I got to buy some presents and take my man for a night out on the town. I was pretty excited about the concept of finding all the free stuff in the valley you can get on your B-day. One because we're not made of money and two because free stuff is awesome. I found this website that lists a bunch of places that give our free stuff on your B-Day. On the the top of the list was Joe's BBQ which gives you a free meal on your B-day and Krispy Kremes who gives you a free dozen glazed doughnuts. We also took advantage of a free movie rental at Hollywood video.
Here's a list of some other free stuff on your B-Day that I found:

* All-American Café - Free Dessert
* Applebees - Free Dessert
* Benihana's Japanese Restaurant - Free Dinner With 3 Other Paying Guests
* Bennigans - Free Dessert + Song
* Burger King - Free Kids Meal To All Kids Club Members
* California Pizza Kitchen - Free Kids Meal During The Month Of Their Birthday (Register First)
* Chili's - Free Song Denny's - Free Meal (Kids Under 10)
* Einstein's - Free Meal
* El Chicos - Free Dessert
* Famous Dave's Barbeque - Free Meal (Advance Signup)
* Fuddruckers - Free Burger
* Golden Corral - Free Meal To Birthday Club Members (Not Just Kids!)
* Hard Rock Café - Free Dessert
* Hooters - Free Song and T-shirt
* Ihop- Free Meal
* Joe's Crab Shack - Free Cake
* Macaroni Grill - Free Dessert and "Happy Birthday" Song
* Maggianos - $10 Off Purchase Of $20 (Sign Up In Advance)
* Olive Garden - Cake (Some Say Free, Most Say $$)
* Outback - Free Dessert + Song
* Pappa's Restaurants (Pappadeaux, Pappasito's, Etc) - Free Dessert
* PF Changs - Free Cake Or Cheesecake
* Red Lobster - Free Slice Of Cake + Song
* Red Robin - Free Burger (have to register)
* Steak And Ale - Free Mini Choco Cake
* Steak-N-Shake - Free Dinner For "Birthday Club" Kids
* Taco Bell - Free Combo Meal Of Your Choice
* TGI Fridays - Free Birthday Dessert
* Todai Seafood Buffet - Free Meal


Weekend Update:
So James and I had another weekend of firsts. We flew on a plane for the first time as a couple and James had his first domestic flight ever. I also missed a plane for the first time in my life. I've had a couple of close calls in the past, but this time we actually missed it. It wouldn't be so sad if missing the plane didn't mean we missed Jen's wedding too. Our plane landed at the same time that the sealing started. I was really disappointed because it would be the first temple marriage I had been to besides my own. But we still made it to the luncheon, the ring ceremony and the reception, so I guess that's pretty good.

It was really great to see Jen. She looked so great and her and Justin are so cute. Their relationship seams to be pretty similar to James and I except they wrestle more. Which makes since since they are both the same size and pretty evenly matched. James would kill me every time.

On Saturday, we went to six flags. Partially because it was the fist thing we found when driving into downtown Denver, and after getting turned around in the city and not being able to find a place to park for relatively cheap, Six Flags seamed like the best option. I was a little worried because we didn't have any sun block and I could justify paying $10 for it in the gift shop.
We had a great time and it was fantastic to have my very own ride buddy the whole time. The only downer to our visit was my attempt to get some Nachos. I chose Nachos because it was the only thing that I could justify for the price. The line was about 15 people long and took me 45 minutes to get through. Buy the end of the line, I was tired, frustrated and ridiculously hungry. I was getting pretty close to yelling at the poor kid at the counter, but I could tell he hated his job and he was feeling super stressed, so I let him go. By the time I got through the line, James was hungry again after eating his corn dog 45 minutes earlier and went to get another one.

We were able stay at Jen's house since they were on their Honeymoon which was great. The only complaint I had was that in places where it's cooler like Colorado and Utah, they don't seam to have a firm grasp on the blessings of AC. It was 81 degrees in the bedroom we were in and we didn't have a fan. I got up and moved to the living room in the middle of the night because I couldn't stand the heat. I just think its funny that Colorado is too hot for me when Phoenix is just fine.

Here are some pictures of the weekend:


Here is James showing off his new Nuggets hat in down town Longmont. Man did we ever have a killer time or what!


James and the Nuggets hat at King Sooper - Denver's most popular grocery store and the name of an imaginary snake you can ask James about later.


Here is the Cathedral we stopped to see. I have to include this image because it's my only solo shot. Apparently I was the one taking the pictures, so there are more pics of just James than me.


Isn't it lovely



Here's James at the Waffle House. I love this picture. James looks so chill.


Here's a not super great one of us at Jen's wedding.


Here's a fuzzy one of Jen and Justin. Sorry, the light was bad.


And for sweet momories, here's a picture of James and I before we were dating but after we knew we would probably get married.

Oh, and for all of you who would like to know (which I'm sure is all of you), I just got called to be a young womens advisor. I'm super excited. They aren't quite sure where they are going to put me yet, but I think it's going to be a blast.
James was right on the money when he guessed the calling. Before we went in to get him set apart, he leaned over and whispered in my ear: "I hope they give you a calling too, and I hope it's in Young Women's." What a smart guy.

Well, that's all I've got for now, but I think this weekend has been very well covered.

-Megan Badger

Travels in the Mysterious East or: That John Denver is Full of Crap

So there are a couple things I need to write about that I haven't written about yet due to some information that I don't want to have snapped up by big brother at work. Mainly I don't want them to know I call in sick instead of requesting time off. I can use my vacation time as sick time if I so desire, and it saves me the hassle of listening to my boss whine and complain about what a huge inconvenience my absence is for him. So I don't want that to get sent in to the mucky mucks and have them come down on me for doing what I have to do to keep my sanity. So there you have it.

First of all, I need to tell you all about my birthday and the amazing awesomeness that it was. I took the day off work because I just wasn't going to go to to work on my birthday. That's just not the way it's done. So early that morning, Megan woke me up and asked me if I wanted to open my presents before she left for work. I told her that my family usually does the whole wake you up and sing happy birthday to you thing. So I told her I'd open them right then. So I pretended to fall back asleep and she brought in some presents. I got some books, two of which I was able to guess (once again, it's hard to surprise your spouse. I wasn't there when she bought the books, but I was able to figure out what they were before opening them. I guess I just know her and she knows me. It takes a little of the surprise out of things like that, but in the long run its more satisfying than the alternative). The big present of the day was a Gamecube (That's how Nintendo spells it. Just one word: gamecube) and a couple games for it. In addition to the gifts, my amazing wife also cooked me a special birthday breakfast. So I got the full treatment.

I sent Megan off to work and I sat down to play on my new gaming system (current gaming system roll call: Atari 2600, Atari 800XL, NES, Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo clone, Playstation, Xbox, Gamecube, and if you want to count the handhelds I also have an original Game Boy, a Game Boy Color, and a Game Boy Advance SP. I guess I'm some sort of collector). I plopped in Super Mario Sunshine, which is an interesting and strange Mario game. Then I plopped in Super Smash Bros., and it didn't work. I was pretty bummed about that, but I got excited at the prospect of taking the game back to Bookman's because Bookman's is a wondrous place. So I grabbed the receipt and the game and headed on over.

At Bookman's they didn't have any more Super Smash Bros. They didn't really have much for the Gamecube at all. It's kind of a sadly underrated system. So I ended up buying a memory card for the Gamecube and a few Atari 2600 games. They have a massive bin of Atari 2600 games that they sell for $1 or less, which is nice. So I've been stocking up on Atari games every time I go in there. So I picked up my wares and left the store. I still really wanted Super Smash Bros., so I took a trip over to the dungeon of dorks video game store.

I call it the dungeon of dorks because these guys have approximately 0 social skills and all they know are video games and other nerdly/dorkly things. Their prices are steep because they probably base things on what they would be willing to pay for a game rather than what an average citizen would be willing to pay. I both love and hate going into that store. I love it because they have tons of stuff. They have everything from Vectrex games to used PC games. I hate it because those guys are constantly one-upping each other with video game/nerd knowledge. So if you waltz in there, you will be bombarded with one-ups and corrections to everything you say. I remember one of them going crazy on me telling me that the Game Boy Advance version of Gunstar Heroes is technically an adaptation, not a port. So yeah, it's a crazy place. Now I don't know why I went into all this explanation of this place because it was actually closed when I rolled by. So I went to the next best place: Game Crazy.

I dropped by the Game Crazy on Alma School and Main, where the friendly Indian fellow works. The friendly Indian fellow is a funny guy. He knows tons about video games and genuinely enjoys telling people about awesome games. He's always super chipper and he calls everyone, "boss" or "chief." The fun part about it is that he does it all in a thick Indian accent. I get a kick out of it. So he guides me to some awesome Gamecube games, none of which were Super Smash Bros. So I still don't have that game, but I picked up a couple other choice titles. I got Paper Mario, which is a game I think Megan could pick up and enjoy. I also got a Tony Hawk game and a James Bond game. So it wasn't all bad. I just realized I sound like a little kid being so excited about new video games on my birthday.

I went back home and played the new games, which was fun. When Megan got home from work, it was time to kick the birthday plans into full effect. She had planned on taking the day off with me so we could both go around and collect on the free stuff people give you on your birthday. If we had both taken the day, we could have both gone on free birthday rampage and been elbow deep in frosting and ice cream by the end of the night. As it was, we tried to fit as much in the remainder of the day as possible.

We headed over to Joe's Barbecue in Gilbert for a free birthday meal. They do it up right at Joe's. I got a full free meal with a free pulled pork sammich, a drink, a side of some sort, and a slice of lemon cake. It was really good food. Halfway through the meal I got a call from the padres who had called to sing happy birthday. There were only three of them (Mom, Dad, and Lynnette) but they made quite a racket and it sounded like there were more of them. So I got my official birthday song as I was enjoying the only cake I'd eat the whole day. I'm glad I didn't have an actual birthday cake this year because, if'n you didn't know, I had way too many cakes last year. It was out of control. Anyway, I'd like to give a big endorsement to Joe's as a birthday destination. It's delicious and free, which are the only two things you need to know about it.

After Joe's we headed on over to the Krispy Kreme to collect on my free dozen doughnuts. Krispy Kreme also does it up right. A dozen is a lot of free doughnuts to just give away, but with how addictive they are, they know people will be back. So we picked up the free doughnuts and headed over to Hollywood Video to pick up a free video rental. We got "Be Kind Rewind" which is a movie I've wanted to see for a while. It was directed by Michel Gondry, who can be a little weird and artsy at times, but it starred Jack Black and Mos Def, not to mention a super awesome job by Danny Glover. So there you go. The movie was not laugh out loud funny, but it was a lot more touching than you'd expect. I wouldn't recommend it for everyone, but I wouldn't discourage anyone from seeing it. Megan and I both enjoyed it.

On Thursday I actually went back into work, which I thought was funny because I was just going to be gone again on Friday. But there was no sense in burning through all my time off, so I showed up. It was a pretty standard day: do everything I can to avoid the boss, and wait until the last minute to get all my work done. I think I've developed some bad work habits at this job that I hope I can ditch when I'm working somewhere else someday.

After work on Thursday we made arrangements to go over to Mary and Konden's to drop Turbo off. They had the great pleasure of being the tortoise sitters while we were away. We ended up staying fairly late. We played a couple games of Mag-Blast, which Mary and Konden swear is one of the best games ever made. They beat us pretty bad the first time around, so we weren't to keen on the game at first, but Megan battled Mary to a draw in the second game, so I guess it's a fun game after all. It's funny because I really didn't understand all the rules until I was dead. Now that I get it I might enjoy it a lot more the next time out.

I also took some time to throw a new Nintendo emulator on the computer for Konden to play with. He also showed me a crazy game that I had apparently downloaded but never played. It's called "Spiritual Warfare" and I believe it's brought to you by the same people who brought you "Billy Graham's Bible Adventures." The game is a little like Zelda, but instead of killing monsters and collecting weapons you're converting people and casting out demons with fruits of the spirit. You collect pieces of the armor of God as you go around, which help you on your way. It's actually a pretty fun little game, and seeing the animation of the unbelievers becoming converted is pretty hilarious. So for those of you with Nintendo emulators, there's a game for you to try.

So we got out of Mary and Konden's fairly late, and then when we got back we realized we still had laundry to do before we could go to bed. We didn't end up going to be until 1:30 or so, which was horrible because we had to be up at 4:00 to get ready for our flight. Needless to say, we didn't get much sleep that night.

We woke up after only a few hours of sleep and started throwing things together. Neither of us had packed, and we had other things to take care of before we left. So basically we were stumbling around the house in a no-sleep stupor. We got out the door later than we wanted and headed over to airport.

Due to the fact that we were going to be leaving and returning on super early flights, we opted to leave Megan's car in the parking lot. We ended up parking in the economy lot, which meant we had to catch a shuttle to the airport. We were already running a little late when we pulled into the economy lot, so waiting for a slow shuttle didn't help much. When we finally dragged our sorry carcasses to the Frontier Airlines ticket counter, the lady told us we were too late to check into our flight. Not only that, but she didn't have a record of Megan having a ticket (though she had mine, which was odd because it was Megan who made the reservations). So we took a few extra minutes at the ticket counter proving that Megan did indeed have a reservation, and then we both got standby tickets for the next flight. The beauty of the next flight was that it didn't leave for an extra two hours. So that basically sealed the deal that we would miss the actual wedding, which is something I bet Megan on. I told her that some unforeseen circumstance would bar us from getting to the wedding in time. It would have been a tight squeeze even if everything went according to plan.

So we took our time getting to the gate and getting through security, but we did get through everything in time call Jen and tell her we wouldn't make the wedding as we sat there and watched our plane, which was just sitting there for a few minutes before taking off. So yeah, we could have easily made that flight, but restrictions being what they are we sat around the airport for a little longer.

At one point Megan went up to the lady at the counter for our gate and asked her what the chances of us getting through on standby were. She told us it didn't look good because the flight only had three open seats with about an hour left before it closed and they started giving seats to standby passengers. So we were worried that we might be spending a good chunk of our day just sitting in an airport, but thankfully this was not the case. We somehow managed to sneak onto our standby flight.

The flight to Denver was just long enough that I couldn't get tired to enough to actually sleep on the plane (I actually have a big problem with that. I have to be super tired to sleep in a moving car, bus, or plane). As we were touching down in Denver I made a few observations: 1) the area immediately surrounding Denver International Airport is the ugliest part of the whole state. It looks like the less interesting parts of Arizona (i.e. the part between Kingman and Bullhead City), which is not the sort of thing you expect from Colorado. 2) The farmers in Colorado would make a lot more money with their crops if they would use the whole field. Seriously, most of the fields I saw were growing crops in circular patterns. This is because they use those motorized sprinkler things, but instead of using the ones that cover the length of the whole field, they use ones that only cover the radius of the circle they plant their crops in. Call me crazy but I think the extra crops you would get from the corners would help defray the cost of the extra pipe, wheels, and sprinkler heads. 3) When we touched down in Denver, it became the farthest East I have ever travelled in my life. This means I really need to travel more. I'm 29 and I've never been East of Denver. That just sounds kinda sad. But we did get to make lots of jokes over the weekend that Denver was part of the Mysterious East, so taking comedy into account it all probably evens out. 4) The Denver airport looks like a giant overturned caterpillar. it just does.

So Megan and I got off the plane and took another shuttle over to the overpriced car rental company we were using. Lucky for us it was customer appreciation day so we got free hot dogs and water. That helped us feel like we weren't being totally gypped on our car rental. When we finally got up to the counter to rent a car, we were surprised to find that it was going to cost even more than we had planned on. And of course they tried to throw in extra costs and talk us into paying them for super deluxe insurance and a tank of gas in advance. We barely escaped with the shirts on our backs

We hopped into our rental car and were ready to hit the road when we realized that we had no idea where we were going, which roads went where, and where we were even supposed to meet everyone. We called up Jen, who should've been and probably was busy with bridely duties, but hers was the only number we had that we could call. She got us pointed in the right direction to meet everyone at the post-wedding luncheon. We ended up getting to the luncheon well before everyone else, so we took a minute to try and catch a nap in the car.

Once everyone showed up, we made our way into the church building and sat down for one of the more delicious wedding luncheons I've ever seen. The main course was a choice between barbecued ribs, bratwursts, or chicken. So you know it was good. We got to sit right across from the bride and groom and offer up our apologies for not getting even less sleep so we could've made our flight on time. We had Jen draw us a crude map to her house with directions on how to get back to Denver proper (the luncheon was in Longmont and Jen's place that we actually stayed in was in Loveland). We ended up using that napkin map to navigate our entire weekend.

After the luncheon, Megan and I opted to go see the sights of downtown Longmont. Jen's sisters told us there was nothing to see, but we saw all the sights and had us a grand old time. We found the main street downtown area of Longmont, parked the car, and hot footed around. We went into every pawn shop, thrift store, guitar store, and art gallery we could find. We only ended up covering one side of the street but we had a bona fide killer time and I even picked up a souvenir: a hat featuring the old Denver Nuggets logo. If you don't remember it, it looks a little something like this:


In case you were wondering what the Nuggets uniforms looked like back in those days, check our how wicked awesome hall-of-famer Alex English looks in the old Nuggets uniform:

I think they should definitely bring this look back. We really need to see Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson sporting the rainbow. But back to the original point: I picked up an old Nuggets hat for two bucks and it was awesome.

After thrifting, pawning, and generally enjoying the thrills of downtown Longmont, Megan and I headed over to the reception. It was kind of funny seeing Jen in a wedding dress. She's a lot more girly than she was when she was Megan's roommate, and I mean that in a good way. We had a good time at the reception, but I was unbelievably tired. Remember we had only gotten about 3 1/2 hours of sleep before all this went down. Jen and Justin graciously offered to let us sleep in their house while they went on their honeymoon. Their house was another buncha miles North of Denver in Loveland, and I ended up falling asleep on the way over. It was funny because the sun hadn't really even gone down when we left the reception, but I was as tired as I have ever been in my entire life.

Megan and I ended up getting to bed that night at some ridiculously early hour like 8:00 or so. I slept like a log. I honestly can't remember being as tired as I was that night or sleeping as soundly. Megan got up a couple times halfway through the night because she couldn't sleep and I didn't notice at all.

The next morning our only plan was to see all the sights of Denver, but we really only had the napkin map so we just headed in the direction of the Denver skyline and hoped that fun times would find us. Before we got too far, we stopped off at a Waffle House for breakfast. I thought it was funny because the people in the Waffle House were exactly the kind of people you'd expect to see in a movie where people stop off at a Waffle House somewhere. I saw guys who may have well just been Sea Bass from Dumb and Dumber. So it was a good breakfast and a good opportunity for people-watching.

When we reached Denver, the first thing we saw was Elitch Gardens, which is a Six Flags theme park. We were debating whether or not we should just opt for the easy fun time of a theme park or go find some fun of our own. As we were driving around, I saw the steeple of what I thought could've been the cathedral Kimberly told me to go see while I was there. We set out on a quest to find the cathedral, and soon found that what I thought was the cathedral was actually a big state building or something. Oddly enough, the cathedral we were looking for was directly in our field of view as we realized we were looking at the wrong building. So we went and took a gander and some pictures at St. Francis, which was built in the late 1800s. Unfortunately, it wasn't open for visitors so we didn't get to go inside.

After the cathedral, Megan and I decided to go back to the one place we knew we could find and where we knew we could have fun: Elitch Gardens. It turned out to be a good choice. We hit all of the major roller coasters and other rides, I paid way too much for a corn dog and Megan stood in a line that didn't move for 45 minutes to get some nachos. Things like that were a little ridiculous, but the rides were fun. The sign at the entrance said, "If you haven't seen Elitch Gardens, you haven't seen Denver." so I guess we fulfilled our mission to see Denver.

We left the park well before it closed, but I was nursing a headache and we were both still fairly tired. We decided that the proper time to get up to catch a 6:45 flight is 3:00 in the morning, so we made an early exit so we could get to bed on time and not be dead tired for church. We picked up a pizza on our wy back to Jen's house and had pizza and watched the new Willy Wonka (I guess it's not all that new anymore) for dinner. I had never seen that version of Willy Wonka. It wasn't bad, but I prefer Gene Wilder. It just really made me want to read the books so I can see what the movies really should've been.

We went to bed right after dinner and woke up at 3:00 in the am. We immediately got our stuff together, ate the rest of the pizza for breakfast (yes, we forgot it was fast Sunday, but by this point we were lucky we knew what day it was at all. We threw our things into the car and headed back toward the airport. We knew we needed to get gas for the car somewhere before hitting the car rental return, but we couldn't find a single gas station along the way. It was driving us nuts as we were driving toward any signs of civilization that looked like they might sell gas. Let me just say that if you're looking for gas near the airport in Denver you have two options 1) Drive a long way back into Denver and hopefully find a place there or 2) Go to the Circle K near the rental car return which charges a full 50 cents more than the places in town because they're the only gas station within 20 miles of the airport. It rediculous, but we bit the bullet and filled our tank with what we could only hope was the best dang gas ever extracted from the entire Earth.

We dropped the rental car off, caught the shuttle back to the airport, and showed up in plenty of time to catch our flight. So at least that went well. Megan slept or made attempts to sleep the entire way home. I knew I just couldn't make it happen so I stayed awake and listened to my ipod for a couple hours. Before we knew it, we were back in Phoenix.

Megan and I took advantage of the fact that we arrived back in Phoenix somewhere in the 7:00 in the am hour and we hit the hay for a couple hours before getting ready to go to church. In doing this, it made all the events of the morning seem like they were a completely seperate and distinct day.

Lucky for us, we're in the ward that meets at 1:00, so we had plenty of time to catch some Z's and be rested enough for church. I got sustained and set apart in my new calling, and I'm excited for all that bidness to start. Megan also got a calling, but I'll leave it to her to tell you what it is. I'll just say that I predicted her calling with 100% accuracy. I also predicted that something would happen and we wouldn't make it to the wedding on time. So don't ask me to predict anything about your life. I'm on a scary hot streak right now.

Well, I'm starting to lose track of where I wanted any of this to go so I think I'll shut it down. I had a great birthday and Megan and I had a killer time in Denver. More than anything we're both really happy to be home in our own house. Barring any more house-sitting, we should be home until Thanksgiving, which sounds perfectly fine to me. So I'll let that be that. If you made it all the way to the end of this entry, give yourself a gold star.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Live From Arnolds Drive-In and Fried Chicken Stand: You Wanted to See It

So Alyssa asked me to write all about the things that happened in 1983. Well, I had so much fun talking about 1984 I thought I'd take up the challenge and talk about the awesomeness of 1983. So let's brek it down.

Movies:
Return of the Jedi, A Christmas Story, War Games, Strange Brew, Mr. Mom, Eddie and the Cruisers, Cracking Up, Flashdance, Koyaanisqatsi, Lone Wolf McQuade, The Right Stuff, Terms of Endearment, Superman III, and if you're a gangster or rapper or even if you're both Scarface was also released in 1983.

TV Shows:
Fraggle Rock, Mama's Family (that show drove me nuts. I could never get into it), The A-Team, Black Adder, Webster, and He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. I loved Webster back in the day, but the only show that has really stood the test of time is Black Adder. So hooray for Rowan Atkinson.

Songs:
Africa by Toto, All Night Long by Lionel Richie, Bark at the Moon by Ozzy Osbourne, Beat It by Michael Jackson, Billie Jean by Michael Jackson, Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes, Blue Monday by New Order, Buffalo Soldier by Bob Marley and the Wailers, Burning Down the House by Talking Heads, China Girl by David Bowie, Cum on Feel the Noize by Quiet Riot, Do You Really Want to Hurt Me by Culture Club, Don't You Want Me by Human League, Der Kommissar by After the Fire, Down Under by Men At Work, Every Breath You Take by The Police, Every Day I Write the Book by Elvis Costello, Far From Over by Frank Stallone, Faithfully by Journey, Gold by Spandau Ballet (one of the greatest songs of all-time, by the way), Holy Diver by Dio (Ronnie James Dio is the greatest metal singer of all-time if you didn't know), Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran, Let's Dance by David Bowie, Little Red Corvette by Prince, Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benetar, Nobody's Diary by Yaz, Our House by Madness, Photograph by Def Leppard, Rio by Duran Duran, Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top, Steppin' Out by Joe Jackson, Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by Eurythmics, Love Cats by The Cure, Safety Dance by Men Without Hats, This is the Day by The The, Thriller by Michael Jackson, Too Shy by Kajagoogoo, Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler, True by Spandau Ballet, Uptown Girl by Billy Joel, White Lines by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, You Are by Lionel Richie.

Now that's what I call a fantastic bunch of hits for 1983. As I look at it, I think some of them might have actually been released in 1982 or 1984. The master list I cut this from may or may not have been put together in a haphazard manner. At any rate, that's a bunch of awesome songs to be released in one time period.

Video Games:
Spy Hunter, Dragon's Lair, Star Wars, Gyruss, Congo Bong, Mario Bros., Battlezone, Burger Time, Dig Dug, Galaxian, Gauntlet, Joust, Jungle Hunt, Keystone Kapers, Miner 2049er, Pitfall II, Pole Position, Popeye, Q*Bert, Vanguard, and possibly others. Some of these games were enjoying their initial release in the arcade while others were being released on the best system of the day: the Atari 2600.

It should also be noted that the bubble burst on the video game market in 1983. Atari, Coleco, Intellivision, and a few others were seeing the rise of personal home computers which could play games as well as do word processing and other stuff. So video game consoles were quickly phased out and home computers were ushered in. A lot of people lost a lot of money in the transition, and several companies folded. This is known as the video game crash of 1983. Of course it didn't stay crashed for long. Nintendo picked up where Atari and the others left off and took games to a whole new level.

Sports:
The Baltimore Orioles win the World Series, the Miami Dolphins lost the Super Bowl, The Michigan Panthers won the USFL Championship (does anybody else think the USFL was awesome? I know I did), the New York Islanders won the Stanley Cup, and the 76ers won the NBA championship. I can't say as I care for most of those teams. I like that the Dolphins lost the Super Bowl because I can't stand the Dolphins. The USFL was still around, which was great. I'd still like to get me some Arizona Wranglers or Arizona Outlaws gear.

Miscellaneous Whatnots:
The musical "Annie" closes on broadway. Giovanni Vigliotto is convicted of fraud in a Phoenix courtroom. He had married several women under false pretence and stole all their worldly belongings. He had pulled the scam 105 times before being caught. President Reagan first announces his widely-panned "star wars" defense plan. Sally Ride (funny name. It reminds me of the song "Mustang Sally") becomes the first woman in space. Guion S. Buford becomes the first black man in space. Saint Kitts and Nevis becomes an independent country. I challenge anyone to tell me where it is without consulting a map, globe, or atlas. Robert, you're on the clock. The first Hooters restaraunt opens. The United States invades Grenada, a country that could really could have been taken over by only two people provided one of them is carrying a pocketknife. Martin Luther King Day becomes an official federal holiday. The Turkish half of Cyprus declares independence from the Greek half. This leads to even more fighting than there had been previously. Brunei gains its independence from the UK, making it the last Southeast Asian country with an absolute monarchy. The D.A.R.E. anti-drug program is launched in American schools. And finally, McDonalds unleashes the McNugget(tm) on an unsuspecting public.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Weekend Update

So I guess I should sit down and tell you all what transpired on our super awesome amazing better-than-yours weekend. As you may have known, Megan and I were house sitting again this week. It's kinda fun to kick it in someone else's house for a little while and enjoy the perks of a super huge TV and all that sorta jazz. Plus there's the obvious benefit of getting paid to do it. The only down side to the whole deal is the commute. The house we sit (well, technically it's more dog sitting than house sitting. We stay at the house and feed two dogs: one that is all hyper all the time, and one that is nigh unto death and apparently can't control its bowels like it used to in the good ol' days.) is in far boonieville Chandler. So we end up spending a little more on gas to get out there, but we're saving on our electric bill because we're not at home running the AC. So that's good.

This time the house sitting gig started on Thursday and overlapped our weekend. On Friday I had a ridiculous day. I won't go into any details because I am writing this entry on a computer that may or may not be more closely monitored than the computers our boys in Iraq are using. Let's just say I got busted for something that really shouldn't be a big deal, and the person who ratted me out was either one of our more ridiculous patrons or a person I work for. Either way I'm not too happy about it. This summer the major things I normally do as summer-long projects have been cancelled due to lack of funds (which is an all-too-common problem at ASU these days) so it's not like I have a lot to do around here. Everything I write on this computer is being screened and sent to the head of the library for review. It feels a little like 1984(the book, not the actual year. 1984 the year was great. The Larry Bird era Celtics won the NBA Championship over the Magic Johnson era Lakers. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and the first Karate Kid movie and Footloose were all released that year. The board game Axis and Allies was introduced. Alex Trebek started his long stint on Jeopardy!. Apple computers released the first of their Macintosh computers. Bon Jovi, Yngwie Malmsteen and Spinal Tap all released their debut albums in '84. Wayne Gretzky's Oilers won their first Stanley Cup. There were new TV shows like Airwolf, Night Court, Punky Brewster, and The Cosby Show. And just look at this murderer's row of hits from 1984: Karma Chameleon by Culture Club, Jump by Van Halen, Footloose by Kenny Loggins, Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper, When Doves Cry by Prince, Missing You by John Waite, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!, Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen, Drive by The Cars, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper, Here Comes the Rain Again by the Eurythmics, I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner, Lucky Star by Madonna, People are People by Depeche Mode, Pride by U2, I Want to Break Free by Queen, Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Shout by Tears For Fears, Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart, The Longest Time by Billy Joel, The Power of Love by Frankie goes to Hollywood, Purple Rain by Prince, We Belong by Pat Benetar, You Might Think by The Cars. Seriously, I'm going to make the new tape player at the top of this blog from those songs. So if you're not convinced that 1984 the year was a good year, you're crazy. Did I have way too much fun looking all that stuff up? Of course I did.)

So the workday on Friday was boring, long, and tedious. I had nothing to do and had been banned from the ways I normally pass the time. So I was literally twiddling my thumbs for three hours at a time. Your minds cannot fathom the depths of my boredom. Watching paint dry would have been a refreshing relief. I was as happy as a man could possibly be when Megan picked me up at the end of the workday.

After work Megan and I headed over to Last Chance to see if we could find me some new pants. Megan is beginning to see that it's totally a woman's world when it comes to clothes shopping. In all her favorite stores, the men's section takes up a small back corner and none of the clothes they have are in my size. So I didn't get anything, but I was much happier to be shopping than at work. We couldn't shop for too long because we had to go back to the boonies to feed the dogs. We spent the rest of Friday night watching Monk and thanking the heavens for the weekend.

We slept in a little on Saturday, which turned out to be a bad idea for me. Megan slept like a baby, and I slept like a guy in a full nelson for 8 hours. I didn't know it, but when I woke up, the rediculous down pillow I was sleeping on was fat on both ends and wafer thin in the middle where I was sleeping. This did two things for me 1) It made me self conscious about whether or not my noggin is overweight and 2) It crinked (that's a medical term, by the way) my neck and gave me a headache for the whole day. So that was fun. I feel like I'm complaining a lot in this post. Let me interrupt myself and apologize to all of you in reader land.

So on Saturday we had errands to run. We went into Tempe to return one of Megan's tires to discout tires because it had developed a comically (and I only say comically because it didn't explode and cause a crash) large bulge. We dropped the tire off and then headed over to get Megan a hair cut. During this time I started calling my old roomy Travis because they were holding some mail and a package for me at the apartment. I probably called Travis about 9 times that day. I called him every time we were in the neighborhood of the apartment, which amounted to about once every half hour. Little did we know that he was in Mexico.

So we got Megan's hair cut and the tire fixed and we headed over to wally world to pick up some important supplies. We got a garden hose so we can give our cars the wash we've been talking about for months. We got bug bombs so we can head off this inchworm problem. Anyway, I'm sure you're very interested in the contents of our shopping cart, but I think I'll cut it short right there.

We got to go to Bookman's, which is my new old favorite place. It had been a favorite place for a while, but now that I live closer to it, the favoriteness has been renewed, revived, refreshed, rejuvenated, replenished, and other words that start with "re." I love the fact that I can roll in on any given day and pick up Atari 2600 games for less than a dollar each. That's just a good time. Megan picked me up some birthday presents, which was kind of comical. She has gotten me a couple presents that I don't know about, but the ones she got at Bookmans are things that I know all about. It's going to be hard to get surprises on each other's birthdays. I'm ok with not having any surprises, but it's kind of funny to try to keep that going. At one point Megan said, "Here, hold these games, but don't look at them." Yup, that's married life. Did I mention that 9 out of 10 doctors prefer marriage to single life. And these aren't the same doctors that were telling us about how Camel cigarettes were easy on the "T-Zone" back in the '50s. These doctors are legit.

On Saturday night we went to a housewarming party for Janae, Megan's old roommate. It was nice to see some of our single homies again. I hassled Eric and told him to hurry up and propose. That was fun. I've never had the ability to be the married person who tells single people, "Just get married. It's not like it's hard or anything." I'm hoping I never forget how rediculous and hard it was to be single, but at the same time, it's still fun to hassle single people as long as they know you're mostly joking. Oh, it was also the first time that Megan and I were not the newest newlyweds in the room. A couple who got married two weeks after we did found their way to the party. So Megan and I are old-timers. We know everything about marriage. Call us up if you need advice or anything. We've got it all figured out.

After the party I dropped by the old apartment to pick up some stuff. Luckily they hadn't thrown out my old skateboard or hockey sticks. My favorite brand of hockey sticks has been bought and sold again. Koho was once owned by CCM which was bought out by Reebok, which is apparantly owned by Adidas (pronounced Aw-Dee-Daws by most everybody except Americans, as I learned on my mission). So I don't know if I'll be able to get Koho sticks anymore, especially not Mario Lemeux signature models. So it was good to get the remainder of my stuff out. We talked with Joel for a second then headed back to the boonies to feed the dogs and whatnot.

On Sunday Megan got asked to fill in and tech Relief Society. So she spent the morning getting her lesson together, and I spent it writing the meme you may or may not have read. When we got to church, the member of the high council who was supposed to announce my new calling wasn't there. So I didn't actually get sustained, and nobody in the ward talked to me about the calling. So I feel like I may have jumped the gun a little by telling y'all what the calling was. I didn't actually think about that until they didn't announce it and I realized I maybe should've held off until I was actually sustained (who knows, the ward might vote against it). Megan's lesson didn't go nearly as well as she had hoped. People didn't make that many comments, and she zipped through most of her material well before the hour was up. She made it through, though and I think she probably did pretty well. There is a huge difference between singles wards and family wards though in terms of people commenting during lessons. It can be silent as a crypt in Elder's quorum when the teacher asks a question, and apparantly Relief Society is a little bit the same. We'll get used to the ways of the family ward before too long, but we're still pretty new at it I guess.

Oh, and I guess I can tell you this crazy anecdote before I close this thing up: so I went to get a hot dog from Circle K at lunch today. They're cheap, they're delicious, and they make a great meal on days when I forget to pack a lunch. So I buy my hot dogs and take them outside. I set them down on this crate of propane tanks where I proceed to slather them in ketchup as I am wont to do. Out of the corner of my eye I see this guy ride up toward me on this rediculous low rider bicycle (I have never understood the low-rider bicycle thing, especially if it's a white guy riding one). The guy riding this abomination of a bicycle was a g-funked white guy with chrome-plated teeth. He asked me if I had 50 cents so he could ride the bus. I told him I didn't. It's the truth. I never carry cash, and I hardly ever have change. I feel bad when I see homeless people because I genuinely never have change to give them, but what can ya do? Anyway, this guy rode off and as he rounded the corner, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "Liar!" So he's calling me a liar when he doesn't actually know that I really don't have any change. Maybe if he wasn't spending all his money on tricked-out bicycles and chrome-plated teeth he might have some spare change of his own.

The beggars in Tempe are getting way out of hand. A few months back I had a similar scenario where I guy asked me if I had any spare change as I was eating my lunch. I told him that I didn't. He asked me, "How'd you pay for that food then?" I should have told him it was none of his business, but I told him, "I payed for it with plastic." He then cursed us rich people and our plastic and how it deprives people like him of what they need to survive. Now I'm sorry that we have homeless people in this country, but they are not entitled to my pocket change. As a Christian, I am supposed to give when I am able, and I do. But it's a little rediculous to be called out by a guy who feels like he has a right to a cut of my money. I've never seen rediculous beggars (Is it P.C. to use the term "beggar?" He was technically begging for my change, but it's not a super dignified term. But what's a less offensive term: hobo? transient? pauper? panhandler? vagabond? domestically challenged person? You tell me what a better term would be and I'll use it) the way we get them in Tempe.

I guess that's a bit of a downer to end on, but it's almost time to close up shop here in the liberry, so I'll leave it like that. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of, "James Complains About Everything." Tune in next week when I complain about 1960s and 1970s U.S. foreign policy in Southeast Asia. It'll be riveting.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

So this is your Friday meme being written on a Sunday. I didn't have time to write on Friday, so I'm writing it now. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you don't think too hard about the fact that I'm still calling it a "Friday meme" even though it's being written on a Sunday.

A Plethora of Questions




What is your favorite animal to see at the zoo?
I actually haven't been to a zoo since I was a kid. I think my favorite part of the ordeal was seeing a goldfish that had grown to be about two feet long. It made me want to get a goldfish and raise him to be a giant.

If you won a shopping spree at the mall, which store would you run to first?
The first thing you need to know is that I'm not a big fan of malls. I'm the sort of guy who seeks out Mom and Pop establishments and goes there often enough that Mom and Pop actually know me by name. There's something very comforting in that. So I'm way out of my element in a mall. But I think if I had to spend money in a mall, I'd go blow it at the virgin megastore or something.

Are you afraid of the dentist?
I've had some major dental work done recently, so there's not really a lot that I'm afraid of. I've had two root canals in the past year, and I really couldn't feel a thing. The worst part about it was keeping my mouth open for two solid hours. I think the part I fear the most is having the dentist look at my teeth, then ask me if I've ever seen a toothbrush. For those of you reading at home, the answer is yes. I have seen a toothbrush and it has, in fact, been inside my mouth.

What do you eat on your hamburgers?
I'm a simple man with simple tastes. Call me crazy, but I like to taste the meat. So I'll put on mayo, ketchup, and a tomato if there's one available and that's it.

If you had to stay awake for 24 hours, what would you do in that time?
You mean what did I do back in the day when I did this sort of thing, right? The last time I pulled an all-nighter was on my birthday a couple years ago. We went to Krispy Kreme at 4 in the morning. We went swimming way past the pool hours at my apartment complex. We watched made-for-tv movies, which were way more entertaining than they should have been (I think the no sleep had something to do with that), we cruised Mill, we went to Wal-Mart, and later the next day my band played a gig. It was rediculous, but it seemed like more fun than it probably was because I was young and crazy.

Do you open your eyes under water?
No. My eyes are pretty sensitive, and if I open them underwater I'll feel it for a week.

Are you organized?
I'm slightly more organized than a post-tornado trailer park. I'm organized but only if you're using FEMA as a benchmark for organization.

What do you do to relax before you fall asleep?
Back in the day before I was married (Oh so long ago and far away now) I used to lay on my right side when I was winding down and getting ready for sleep, and then when I was really ready to get my sleep on, I would roll over to my left side and snooze away. Now that I'm married, laying on my right side means cuddling with Megan for a while before dozing off. That girl has developed some sort of serious addiction to my lovin'.

Do you like Sunny D?
Sunny D is Tampico for people with weak stomachs. Real men drink Tampico because it tastes delicious, and it burns all the way down. If Tampico and Sunny D were drugs, Sunny D would be a whippit and Tampico would be crack. With Sunny D in mind, however, I feel compelled to ask: why is it that when people thrown a doughnut breakfast for any reason, they always bring out the Sunny D? Are they not aware that after eating a doughnut, Sunny D becomes so sour it can literally turn your face inside out? Why have these people not heard of milk? I'm just curious.

Do you eat organic food?
Everybody eats organic food. Organic food contains carbon compounds. It really bugs me that hippies think they're the only people eating organic food. If you are eating tomatoes that were grown in a lab, or eating meat from a cloned sheep, it's still organic. It has carbon compounds and is susceptible to decay. So don't pay 12 bucks for an "organic" tomato when you can get organic food wherever you go. Organic does not mean, "Grown in nature by groovy people who don't use pesticides." It literally means, "contains carbon," which all living things do.

Who do you text the most?
I still don't use the word "text" as a verb. It's still a noun to me. I don't send text messages to anyone because I have this weird thing where I'd much rather actually speak to people. I don't even like phones that much. I'd rather speak face to face with everyone, but given the choice between reading text and actually speaking, I'll speak on the phone. So if you ever send me a text message I'll do one of two things: 1) Ignore it, or 2) Call you and actually speak to you.

Last song you downloaded?
This week I downloaded the complete works of Scott "Wino" Weinrich. He's a buddy of one of my old institute teachers and he just happens to be the most famous doom metal artist of all time. Doom metal is slow and plodding like early Black Sabbath. Anyway, it's funny to listen to the music of this guy and think about the fact that my old institute teacher went to guitar school with him.

What do you find the most attractive about your same sex?
Nothing. I think guys are hairy and disgusting. I find it odd that women are ever attracted to us.

If you could name a planet, what would you name it?
It would be way to vain to name it after myself, though I have to admit I would be tempted. I could name it after Megan, but that would really up the expecatations for gift-giving, and I can't always give the gift of celestial bodies. It gets expensive. So I think I would name it after something I like. So it would be "Planet Weezer" or "Planet Maple Leafs" or "Planet Voltron" or something.

What would you consider a lot of money?
I dunno. Where is this money coming from and what is it for? $50 is a lot of money to find in your pocket and not realize it was there, but it would be a really crappy lottery jackpot. Everything depends on the context.

Have you ever put Mentos in Coke?
Nope. But I've put Mentos in my mouth, which was pretty awesome. I like the fruity kind.

What movie do you really want to see right now?
Call me crazy, but I still feel that my mission to bring the awesomeness of "Evil Alien Conquerors" to fans of weird/bad sci-fi movies has not been completed. There may be some of you within the sound of you mumbling along as you read this entry (I don't say "sound of my voice" because I really can't shout that loud) who have not yet seen this movie. I feel it is my job to bring you the joys (Or the woes, depending on how much you enjoy movies like this) of such amazing bad sci-fi awesomeness.

Do you wear glasses?
I own glasses, but I don't wear them. Megan likes the way I look in them, but I'm not as sold on the idea.

Ever made out with a monkey?
No, but I've had monkeys check my hair for lice. Luckily they didn't find any, but I could tell they were a little disappointed.

When was the last time you went to the ocean?
It's been a while. I think it's been since 2004 when we hit the beach in Kompong Saom.

Would you marry the Burger King King?
That guy is the creepiest guy ever. If burger king's intention was to get me to think that at any time I could be accosted by a weird guy wearing a creepy mask, it worked. I now check under the bed and in the closets to make sure he's not there.

Do you feel bad for the Polar Bears?
No. Should I?

How many pairs of shoes do you own?
More than I actually wear or need, but fewer than Megan. So at least I've got that going for me.

Who's your favorite celebrity?
I dunno. Garth Hudson. Jeff Lynne. I can only think of people I admire, but aren't really celebrities to most people. I think those guys are the bee's knees, but you won't ever see them on a red carpet.

Ever take a dump in the woods?
Of course. I've been camping enough to have done my business behind a bush.

What is your least favorite color?
Teal. It was super popular in the 90's and it drove me crazy for some reason.

How many times have you gone to the bathroom today?
Only once I think. But thanks to the person who wrote this for writing insightful questions that our readers really wanna know the answer to.

What is the most times you have ever seen one movie?
I dunno. I think I've seen "Saving Silverman" more times than any other movie, but I have no idea how many times I've seen it.

What holiday just passed?
Pioneer Days came and went without me really even noticing. If I'm not in St. Johns, it's as if Pioneer Days doesn't even happen. I think we'll try to make it next year.

Do you play any instruments?
I play the bass, though I'm out of practice, and I played the viola in middle school and high school, but I'm way out of practice on that one. I think I can still read music in alto clef though.

What room are you in?
My compy is in the dining room.

What color is your camera?
It's silver-ish. But I'm pretty sure nobody cares what color my camera is. What an odd question.

Where is your room?
In our house, which is in the middle of our street. It's our castle and our keep.

What is the closest green item to you?
So you're really telling me, "I am running out of questions and I don't know what else to ask." There is a box of kleenex, which has a greenish hue. I think my readers will be fascinated to know that.

Last time you saw your mother?
I saw her last week when we were at the family reunion.

What was it you last laughed about?
I dunno. Megan and I live lives full of laughter. I hope we don't grow up to be like The Lockhorns or anything.

Do you drink Red Bull or any other energy drink?
The only time I ever had a Red Bull was in Cambodia. The idea for Reb Bull was taken from the Thai energy drink Krating Daeng, which had been in Thailand for years. So I think I got an energy drink before they really became popular in the states. Of course Red Bull tastes like cough syrup that has passed its sell-by date and it didn't give me much extra energy. I stay away from energy drinks these days because they're expensive, rediculous, and they taste terrible.

If you could work at any clothing store, which store would you pick?
DI. I get a lot of my clothes from DI, and if I worked there I might get a discount from their already low prices, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have to listen to super repetitive techno music all day. If DI paid as much as my current job and had decent benefits, I would be working there right now.

How often do you give high fives?
Often. Megan and I are constantly high-fiving. We can't help it. The Aquabats told us to.

Do you own a cowbell?
No, but I think you want me to somehow tie my answer in to the SNL "More Cowbell" sketch. I won't do it.

Have you ever been on television?
Yes. I was on TV when I was 16 because I was a pall bearer at my uncle's funeral (he was given a hero's funeral after being killed in an incident at Fort Bragg) and it showed up on the evening news. I was also a guest on a late night public access show in Tuscon back when I was a theater major. I don't know how or why it happened, but it did.

Where did you last eat?
The last place where Megan and I ate out was Ikea, home of the 50 cent hot dog.

Who's the most annoying person in your neighborhood?
Probably me. I dunno. I haven't been in the neighborhood long enough to know.

Do you plan on moving in the next year?
No. I've done all the moving I'm gonna do for a while.

Who is the last person you saw in your house?
I see Megan in our house all the time. We practically live together. I say practically because it would be incredibly impractical for a husband and wife to not live together.

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A frozen Nutter Butter. If you've ever trusted my opinion on anything, trust it on this: Nutter Butters are better frozen. Sure, they're delicious when they're not frozen, but the freezing really brings out the deliciousness molecules.

When was the last time you saw your number 2?
I don't even know who my number 2 is. All I know is that Megan is my number 1.

Where is your biological father right now?
My how times change when you have to word a question that way. My biological father and my biological mother are married, live in the same house, and are still very much in love. I think it's a terrible thing that my situation isn't more common.

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
Megan bought me some things that I'll get on my birthday. I'm finding out that it really is hard to make anything a surprise when you're married. There are a couple things I'll get that will be a surprise, and a couple others that will not.

Who took your profile picture?
Martha took the picture you see at the top of the blog. She did a great jorb.

What will you call your first child?
His name will be James Hyrum Badger jr. and we will call him Jimmy jr. I had a long talk with my Mom about this and I'm pretty sure what she said was that she loved the whole Jimmy jr. idea. But seriously, I would like to name a son after myself.

Do you celebrate monthly anniversaries?
Megan and I celebrated monthaversaries when we were dating. I think we'll mention our monthaversaries in passing now that we're married, but we'll probably only really celebrate our annerversaries from now on. I would also like to point out the fact that the term "monthly anniversary" is incorrect because the "anni" part comes from the latin word "anno" which means year. Anniversary means yearly celebration. So when you say "monthly anniversary," you are really saying "monthly yearly celebration." It's a contradiction of terms. Although monthaversary isn't technically a word, it's more correct. This has been your weekly etymology lesson. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you won't celebrate any monthly anniversaries. Your head might explode because it's a crazy contradiction. The only way you could do it is if you were celebrating a different annual event every month, which is just too much if you ask me.


This has been your Friday meme. I hope you enjoyed it.